Owen's Gratitude Presentation on YouTube

Check out my latest presentation on Gratitude on YouTube at this link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43pB4o1LEFI

Gratitude Helps Marriages

Research has confirmed that practicing gratitude activities, like writing a gratitude list, strengthens all of our relationships. Now, a compelling study reports that gratitude can improve our relationships with our spouses or partners.

At the University of Georgia, close to us here in Atlanta, researchers found that couples who expressed gratitude for their spouse enjoyed better marriages. Approximately five-hundred married couples took part in this study that looked at their communication style, financial well-being and how frequently they expressed gratitude to each other. These expressions of gratitude were the most consistent predictor of a high quality of marriage. The study reported, “Couples who express gratitude for each other during good times are buffered from the withering effects of lousy times.”   

Furthermore, Ted Futris, an associate professor in the College of Family and Consumer Sciences at the University of Georgia said, "We found that feeling appreciated and believing that your spouse values you directly influences how you feel about your marriage, how committed you are to it, and your belief that it will last."

According to lead author, Allen Barton, a postdoctoral research associate at the University of Georgia's Center for Family Research, saying "thank you" to your partner is so potent that couples who make it a habit are less affected by other marital stress. Barton goes on to say, "It goes to show the power of ‘thank you’…Even if a couple is experiencing distress and difficulty in other areas, gratitude in the relationship can help promote positive marital outcomes."

Furthermore, Barton said, "Emerging findings, however, lend support for gratitude in romantic relationships — including that of perceiving spousal gratitude — to alter the effects of financial distress and negative partner behaviors on individuals' marital quality."

In addition, Barton writes, "One longitudinal study, for example, demonstrated increases in both partners' grateful mood by having one spouse keep a daily gratitude journal or overtly expressing greater amounts of gratitude to their spouse."

The authors of the study note that conflict in any relationship is inevitable but gratitude can ameliorate the negative effects of conflict. Furtis said, "All couples have disagreements and argue and, when couples are stressed, they are likely to have more arguments. What distinguishes the marriages that last from those that don't is not how often they argue, but how they argue and how they treat each other on a daily basis."

Improving Your Marriage with Gratitude

As I have researched gratitude and applied it in my life, I have found many new areas where it works. One area that it seems to work extremely well in is in the area of strengthening social bonds and relationships, especially marriages.

Gratitude can be a powerful tool to help couples connect and learn to communicate in a positive manner, enabling them break negative communication patterns in their relationships. By taking time to express gratitude to your partner, either face-to-face or writing it down, you will help improve your relationship. Today, with all our modern means of communicating, it is easier than ever to send a quick text or email to our partners and find novel ways to express your appreciation.

When I started practicing some gratitude activities in my life, I asked a close friend who had a happy and healthy marriage how he did it. He said, “Every morning, when I get out of bed and see my wife sleeping, I think of three things I am grateful for about her.” 

Even more interesting was the fact that he said that practicing gratitude changed his marriage, but his wife stayed the same. What changed, at least initially, was the way he viewed her, through the new lens of gratitude. Immediately, I tried this and it worked. When I woke up, I would look at my wife and think of three things I was grateful for about her, like her intelligence, her humor, or her unconditional love. Quickly it did improve our relationship and created more love, laughter, and intimacy. 

I also started keeping a written gratitude journal about things I was grateful for about her. From that, I would write her gratitude letters as well as telling her, in an authentic way, all the things that I appreciated about her. Like all gratitude activities, some days are easier than others, but, persevere-it will pay off.

For me, gratitude opened up a new communication with a positive spin that had us talking more than ever to each other. Of course, it wasn’t a cure all, but others who have tried this attest that it does help.

So, try improving your relationship or marriage with a little gratitude. Daily, simply think of three things you are grateful for about your spouse or partner, write them down and express them. Try it for two weeks and watch the quality of your relationship and life improve.

Owen was on Teacher's Lounge Podcast

Recently, I was interviewed on the Teacher's Lounge Podcast. It is interesting to see how much things have progressed since I was interviewed by them two years ago.

Check it out at:

http://teachersloungeshow.blogspot.com/2016/08/back-to-school-gratitude.html

Seven Questions to Reignite your Teaching Passion and Purpose

Guest post by Robert Ward 

All teachers must find or rediscover their passion for educating and nurturing children because their personal and professional sense of excitement, pleasure, and purpose is just as vital for their students as it is for themselves.

No one can argue that academic learning is a crucial goal of teaching, but educators, parents, and the public are now also embracing the importance of social and emotional learning. Yet we all must go one step further- or deeper- and equally accept the profound impact of soulful learning.


Meaning is magnetic! Passion is powerful! Charisma is contagious!

If you want to engage your students, you yourself must be engaged. Your students will be entranced by and feed off of your sincere passions. Your specific passions may never become your students’ passions, but you will have nevertheless provided them with three vital life lessons:
 
* A passionate, purpose-driven life is the only life worth leading.
* When a person chooses a path full of self-expression, creativity, and meaning, wonderful opportunities arise, doors open, and adventures await.
* One’s passions should be openly and generously shared with others because what each individual offers is a glorious gift that benefits and inspires others.


If you want to maintain a rewarding career in education that lasts thirty years or more, you must be deeply invested in what happens in your classroom. Please abundantly give the gifts of inspiration and creativity to your students because it is within these avenues of exploration that children dare to dream, invest fully, and achieve their potential.


The following questions will assist you in reinvigorating your teacher passion so that joy, fulfillment, and meaning become the nourishing foundations of your day.

1. What is it about the subject/s that I teach that connects with my core values and beliefs?
2. What aspects of my curriculum are particularly exciting and interesting to me?
3. What beauty, artistry, wisdom, or wonder am I compelled to impart to my students?
4. Why have I chosen to devote my professional life to this field of study? What longing does it fulfill in me?
5. What is sustaining and revitalizing about what I teach and about teaching itself?
6. Am I ever learning something new that is useful, important, and intriguing, both to me as a professional and to me as a person?
7. What qualities do I personally bring to the table that make my particular instruction uniquely valuable to those I teach?


You must be coming up with some very compelling answers to these questions because if not, you are probably going through the motions and merely collecting a paycheck. Neither of these results are much good for your life as a teacher—and with the amount of time you spend in the classroom, this is a major part of your life!—nor for your students’ lives and education.


If you yourself cannot articulate why what you teach in general, as well as why each specific lesson matters—both to you personally and to your students—then how are you expecting to sustain your students’ interests, let alone your own?




Robert Ward is a dedicated educator who has taught English at middle schools in Los Angeles for twenty-three years. He is also the author of two powerful books for teachers, and Rowman and Littlefield will publish his next book, A Teacher’s Inside Advice to Parents, in November 2016. Contact Robert via his website: http://www.rewardingeducation.com/ 


This article is adapted from chapter 9: Engendering Fascination in The Firm, Fair, Fascinating Facilitator.

Click on the following link for information on purchasing Robert’s two teacher books directly from the publisher at a 40% discount through 9/30/16:
https://rewardingeducation.wordpress.com/2016/07/02/two-powerful-books-for-

Gratitude Quiz plus Owen's Gratitude Presentation

Check out Greater Good's Gratitude Quiz at:

Gratitude Quiz

It is short, only 20 questions and has resources and links when it gives the results.

Also, I gave a Gratitude Presentation recently and it is now on You Tube.

Access it at this link:

Owen Griffith's Gratitude Presentation

Knock-Out Burn-Out

Henry James said the two sweetest words in the English language were “summer afternoon.” For educators, perhaps the sweetest words are “summer break.” This is the time of year many of us recharge our batteries as we vacation and take time with family and friends.

But what about those of us who are contemplating not returning to the classroom in the fall and becoming part of that sad statistic that half of all teachers quit in the first five years. Or what about those of us who are dreading getting back in the classroom because even after summer break, we will still feel burned-out?

Can we recapture the energy and enthusiasm that brought us into the classroom and help our colleagues when they start to get discouraged? Yes, we can become revitalized and help others keep growing through the roller coaster ride of the school year by becoming aware of what leads to burn-out and then becoming more resilient as we add some of the following tools to our teacher's tool-kit.

What is “Burn-Out?”

According to a top burn-out researcher, Carol Maslach, “Burn-out is more than feeling blue. It is a chronic state of being out of sync at work and can be a significant problem for educators. People feel constantly overwhelmed, stressed, and exhausted. Teachers may try to get away from it for a while, but when they come back, it is as bad as ever…Burn-out is loss of enthusiasm. The original passion to teacher has faded or gone away completely. Teaching feels like a burden and a chore. Instead of doing their best, they do the bare minimum.”

Here's a link to take the Burnout Self-Test from the Maslach Burnout Inventory for yourself:

https://www.aap.org/en-us/Documents/soim_abbreviated_maslach_burnout_inventory.pdf

Five Steps to Knock-Out Burn-Out

Step #1) Reach out for Help

Even though burn-out makes us feel isolated, we are not alone. Reach out to mentors, trusted colleagues, administrators, counselors, and friends to start getting help and support, and don't be afraid to get professional help. We can help others who are experiencing the same thing and create networks of colleagues and friends. A study by Figley (2012) shows that we can heal from “compassion fatigue” before it becomes full burn-out.

Step #2. Be Grateful-Look for the Positive

Research (Emmons, Froh, Bono) shows that practicing gratitude helps restore our energy. Gratitude is much more than a pleasant emotion; it is a potent action. Start to practice gratitude: write a gratitude letter to a colleague, or make a gratitude list about things in your classroom and life. Do it on a daily basis for two weeks and watch your classroom become brighter.

Step #3) Develop a Growth Mindset

Research by Dr. Carol Dweck affirms that applying growth mindset activities helps teachers avoid burnout and also helps students achieve in the classroom.  Dweck tells us that praising the process versus praising intelligence “may involve commending effort, strategies, focus, persistence in the face of difficulty, and willingness to take on challenges.” She gives some helpful examples in this article:

 http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids1/

Step #4) Help Others

In the classroom and in the world, when we help others in big and small ways, we are helping ourselves stay rejuvenated all year. By partaking in altruistic actions, we open ourselves to the profound joy of giving freely as we focus on others and not on ourselves. Write or call a parent and tell them something about their student that you are proud of. Find a student that is struggling and sincerely complement them for something they are doing well. Altruistic giving has been shown to increase positive neurotransmitters in the giver, receiver, and anyone observing the act of giving. People who volunteer or care for others consistently are happier and less depressed. In her book, Raising Happiness, Dr. Christine Carter writes about the “Helper’s High” we get when we give of ourselves.

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Happiness-Simple-Happier-Parents/dp/0345515625

Step #5) Have Fun in the Classroom

Humor is a powerful way to stay fresh and rejuvenated throughout the long school year. Although life can be serious, we can temper that with a sense of humor about situations in the classrooms. We can learn to laugh at ourselves in stressful situations and keep some balance and positive perspective.

Sometimes when I am in survival mode, I forget that teaching can be fun. So, I start every day off with a riddle. Not only is this fun, but it helps students think outside the box. Sharing jokes, brief stories, brain teasers, etc., only takes a minute and can easily be aligned to the day’s topic.

Make time to connect with students, like standing at the door at the beginning and ending of class and simply shaking their hand and telling them something you appreciate about them.

Get Through the School Year with a Smile

These suggestions may seem daunting, but we don’t have to try everything at once. Take some time to reflect this summer and make a plan to try the easiest of these tips to get unstuck and feel refreshed. Then, try something else from the list to revitalize and keep out of burn-out mode. If something doesn’t work, remember that one mistake is not a failure but a step in learning. Keep trying and reach out for help. We can do this! We can get through the year with a smile.

Poetry-Education and Gratitude

Henry James said the two sweetest words in the English language were “summer afternoon.” For educators, the two sweetest words may be a little different, “summer break.” We are at the end of the school year when we all need a break. 

Here a couple poems, the first about education and the second about gratitude. Enjoy both and enjoy summer! 

Lift Off (excerpt)

- Donovan Livingston, ''Lift Off', (student speaker at Harvard Graduate School of Education 2016 Convocation Exercises)

"Education is no equalizer —

Rather, it is the sleep that precedes the American Dream.

So wake up — wake up! Lift your voices

Until you’ve patched every hole in a child’s broken sky.

Wake up every child so they know of celestial potential.

I’ve been a Black hole in the classroom for far too long;

Absorbing everything, without allowing my light escape.

But those days are done. I belong among the stars.

And so do you. And so do they.

Together, we can inspire galaxies of greatness

For generations to come.

No, sky is not the limit. It is only the beginning.

Lift off. Education is no equalizer —

Rather, it is the sleep that precedes the American Dream.

So wake up — wake up! Lift your voices

Until you’ve patched every hole in a child’s broken sky.

Wake up every child so they know of their celestial potential.

I’ve been a Black hole in the classroom for far too long;

Absorbing everything, without allowing my light escape.

But those days are done. I belong among the stars.

And so do you. And so do they.

Together, we can inspire galaxies of greatness

For generations to come.

No, sky is not the limit. It is only the beginning.

Lift off."

   Full Text & Video... http://www.gse.harvard.edu/news/16/05/lift

Messenger
by Mary Oliver


My work is loving the world.

Here the sunflowers, there the hummingbird—

          equal seekers of sweetness.
Here the quickening yeast; there the blue plums.
Here the clam deep in the speckled sand.
 

Are my boots old? Is my coat torn?

Am I no longer young, and still not half-perfect? Let me
          keep my mind on what matters,

which is my work,

which is mostly standing still and learning to be
          astonished.

The phoebe, the delphinium.

The sheep in the pasture, and the pasture.

Which is mostly rejoicing, since all the ingredients are here,



which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart

          and these body-clothes,

a mouth with which to give shouts of joy

          to the moth and the wren, to the sleepy dug-up clam,

telling them all, over and over, how it is

          that we live forever.

Compassion Fatigue: The Silent Thief in Our Schools

by: Cheri Brown Sizemore

I love you so much it hurts. So many parents have quoted these song lyrics to their children to express the depth and complexity of their feelings. But teachers can also be so emotionally invested in their students that it takes a physical and psychological toll. Teachers naturally become attached to, protective of, and concerned for the young people they educate and train for more than nine months of a school year. Today's classrooms are filled with young victims of trauma carrying the baggage of poverty, hunger, abuse, violence, neglect, illness, divorce, death, and more. After a period of time struggling with concern for these students, daily reminders of the obstacles they face, and the human desire to support and relieve them, some educators begin to suffer the symptoms of compassion fatigue. Unchecked, this condition can rob our classrooms of caring and committed educators. How can teachers and administrators recognize the problem and reduce its impact before compassion fatigue affects their work?

Compassion Fatigue

Simply put, compassion fatigue can develop when one cares "too much" for another who has shared firsthand traumatic experiences. It is a unique form of burnout, previously linked with nursing professionals, therapists, and early responders, that has been described as "the cost of caring" for others' in emotional pain. If left unrecognized and untreated, this condition can turn into a full-blown case of burnout that can lead to even more serious outcomes. In this article, teachers, administrators, and supervisors will learn to recognize the symptoms and will discover steps toward healing to reverse the effects of this silent thief in our schools.

Signs and Symptoms

According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, more than 10 million children each year in the United States experience traumatic events in their lives. Likely, no school is immune to cases of juvenile trauma. Thus, awareness of the symptoms and early recognition can help you respond to compassion fatigue. A variety of symptoms can manifest themselves in a person's life, including

• Anger and/or cynicism	• Hypervigilance
• Anxiousness	• Inability to embrace complexity
• Avoidance	• Inability to listen
• Chronic exhaustion	• Loss of creativity
• Disconnection	• Poor boundaries
• Fear	• Poor self-care
• Guilt	• Sleeplessness
• Hopelessness	• Survival coping (National Child Traumatic Stress Network)

What Teachers Can Do

Certain types of people seem to be more susceptible to the effects of compassion fatigue. Teachers should evaluate their tendencies to fall into these categories: excessive dedication, compulsivity, perfectionism, and achievement-oriented. As we discover the terrible situations their students they struggle with, the pressures and demands of our jobs—including tight schedules, unrealistic expectations, lack of positive feedback or support—adds to our psychological loads. Without realizing it, we start feeling resentful rather than resourceful, detached rather than delighted, and exhausted rather than excited. Often, we are not even aware of what is causing these feelings. Here are a just a few things you can do to maintain sanity and stability while doing your best to comfort children who desperately need your love and concern.

1. Be kind to yourself. Don't think that because you are not able to handle these situations that you are weak or incompetent. Remind yourself that suffering with compassion fatigue indicates that you listen well, open your heart, and care so much for your students in need. Be sure that you take time for just you—meditate, have a massage, take a bubble bath, read a book, write poetry, take a long walk, sing, dance—whatever best rejuvenates you. To recover from this disabling condition, you must take time for you.

2. Journal your thoughts. Did you ever keep a diary? Journaling helps by getting troubling thoughts out of your head and onto the paper. You can go back to your journal, reread it to gain perspective, and imagine good thoughts for those whom you care so much.

3. Don't face this alone. Force yourself to be with others, even if you do not feel like you can. Approach your administrators, your counselors, your colleagues, your friends, your spiritual advisor, or anyone who will listen to you. Keeping these emotions inside you will only make things more difficult for you and your students. Others may be experiencing the same feelings, and together you can find support. If you feel like you are not able to get back to the "normal you" in two or three weeks, seek professional help. Studies (Figley, 2002) have shown that you can heal from compassion fatigue before it turns into serious burnout, and you can manage to continue to work and care for students with problems, while taking care of yourself.

4. Seek positive influences. Stay away from negative thoughts and situations (which might include the teachers' lounge during your planning period). Find ways to stimulate your thought processes. Take a course online, read stimulating articles, continue to look for better strategies to be a quality teacher. Keep company with those who can laugh and share gratitude with you.

What Administrators Can Do

While teachers must seek out help when they feel overwhelmed, administrators must watch for signs and trends in their schools that might indicate problems or concerns.

1. Know your faculty. Stay apprised of personal trauma that the teachers might be experiencing. Those who face trauma in their own lives may be more easily affected by the traumas of their students. Know which students deal with or have dealt with trauma and inform their teachers. Watch for changes in teachers' personalities, work habits, attendance patterns, and interactions with others.

2. Encourage teacher interaction. Build in time each week (each day is preferable) for teacher collaboration during which they can discuss strategies for lessons, classroom management, student behavior, and share own struggles. Schedule events to provide opportunities for teachers (and their families) to socialize together—for down time, fun time, and time to get to know each other outside of school duties. Watch for teachers who withdraw from their colleagues and those who work in isolation.

3. Show your support. Have an open-door policy that offers a safe place for teachers to approach you with confidential matters and concerns. Offer assistance or connect them with professionals who can help them deal with the fatigue and burnout. Discover a variety of ways to recognize the work they do and to praise them with your words and actions. Make sure that the teachers have the tools and materials necessary to make their jobs as manageable as possible. Watch for teachers who never smile and who avoid interaction with you and the front office.

4. Encourage self-care. Set up workshops led by experts to identify the risks in dealing with trauma situations and to share healthy coping strategies. Create a "self-care board" in the teachers' lounge for all to share their favorite tips, and even run weekly contests for the best ideas. Rather than holding a lot of meetings, allow teachers to spend that time in exercise groups, walking clubs, yoga sessions, and more. When meetings are necessary, devote the first few minutes to focus on "caring for yourself." You, as the leader, should have your own self-care plan. Watch for teachers who demonstrate poor self-care (appearance, dress), who never participate in activities outside of their classroom, and who work long hours.

The Children Still Need Help

Although some teachers discover they are not able to rise above compassion fatigue or burnout, and ultimately, must leave their jobs, the children remain and still need educators who can care for them. Therefore, everyone involved must know the impact that this silent thief can have on an entire school. Rather than watch teachers leave, we should devote time and effort to the seriousness of the effects of compassion fatigue. By identifying compassion fatigue early and dealing with it quickly in resourceful ways, we can keep it from stealing teachers who care from the classroom.

Reference

Figley, C. R. (Ed.) (2002). Treating compassion fatigue. New York: Brunner/Routledge.

Cheri Brown Sizemore earned her doctoral degree in educational administration from Baylor University. She is a retired teacher, administrator, and author of To Love to Teach Again: 10 Secrets to Rekindling Passion to Keep You in the Classroom.

New blog from The Center for Courage and Renewal

Parker Palmer is a tremendous influence on my life and teaching. The Center for Courage and Renewal, which he started, just posted my blog about my early career in education and how Palmer's book, The Courage to Teach, helped me get through a rough start in the classroom with some gratitude.

Check out the entire blog at:

http://www.couragerenewal.org/blog/

Special Guest Blog by Robert Ward

Nine Young Adult Novels that Teach Gratitude, Grit, and a Growth Mindset to Kids

Have you ever noticed that the main characters in a great deal of young adult literature are orphans? It has to be more than a coincidence that the inspiring protagonists of some of the most beloved books from the young adult canon either are parentless or are suddenly isolated from the love and support of family and friends.

I am sure you can add to this list of characters who face extraordinary obstacles virtually on their own:

1. Ponyboy Curtis from The Outsiders: recently orphaned and confronted with the death of two close friends
2. Harry Potter from the Harry Potter series: orphaned and temporarily trapped in a horrible home where he is unwanted and unappreciated

3. Stanley Yelants from Holes: sentenced to hard labor at Camp Green Lake for a crime he did not commit and because of a family curse that may turn out to be a blessing
4. Jeffrey Magee from Maniac Magee: orphaned (twice) and perpetually running… from himself

5. Karana from Island of the Blue Dolphins: orphaned while witnessing the massacre of her father and her people and abandoned on a deserted island for eighteen years
6. Brian from the Hatchet series: a child of divorce who is forced to brave the harsh wilderness alone

7. James from James and the Giant Peach: an orphan living with his two vile aunts until he embarks on an incredible adventure
8. Meg from A Wrinkle in Time: a young girl swept into a strange, scary new dimension and on a desperate quest to save her father and brother

9. The Baudelaire siblings from the Series of Unfortunate Events books: three oppressed orphans endure alliterative adventures against the evil Olaf

Despite their tumultuous journeys, these characters manage to persevere and to eventually triumph, armed finally with the insight that what they needed most was within them all along. This profound and lasting sense of gratitude provides these young heroes with the strength they need to not only survive but to thrive; and it is this inner fortitude and grace that assures the reader that these characters will be just fine long after The End.
Of course, the crucial lesson the authors of these magnificent books want to convey is universal and elemental: If these children who ostensibly have no one and nothing can summon the courage and determination to slay dragons—dragons that are real and imagined, internal and external—then so can you and I, especially those of us fortunate enough to be in far more comfortable and comforting situations.

In The Outsiders, S.E. Hinton beautifully sums up the meaning of gratitude and of appreciating what you have, even if you currently have very little, with two words: stay gold. This is my go-to phrase when I am issuing friendly caution to a student who is beginning to stray, as well as when I want to celebrate a student who has been especially sensitive, sympathetic, or supportive. My students know exactly what I mean by these two powerful words because together we have explored and discussed a wealth of amazing novels that we can compare and contrast, as well as learn from and love.
Thankfully, parents and teachers are starting to fully embrace the necessity and benefits of social, emotional, even soulful learning, in addition to academic learning. I learned long ago that preaching to my students yields limited results. It is far more fruitful and fun to allow my students to discover for themselves the wisdom of gratitude, grit, and a growth mindset through great stories. These universal themes of thankfulness, perseverance, and self-assurance sustain us through the hard times and spur us to strive for the things that really matter in life, so much of which is meaningful rather than material.

Robert Ward has been teaching English at public middle schools in Los Angeles for twenty-three years. He is also the recent author of two books for teachers, The Firm, Fair, Fascinating Facilitator and The Teacher Tune-Up, published by Rowman and Littlefield. His newest book, A Teacher’s Inside Advice to Parents: How Children Thrive with Leadership, Love, Laughter, and Learning, will be available this fall. Robert can be contacted via his website: http://www.rewardingeducation.com/