Spirituality of Storytelling-Part 5

I am still enjoying writing down the stories that I tell my 4th graders. They get one story every Friday and it is the highlight of the week for many of them. Even the students who do not seem interested at other times are usually riveted when I tell one of my "Mr. Griffith Stories." They will even ask me to retell some of their favorites. Storytelling is spiritual and educational. Here are two more of my favorites:

“Mouse Trap”

On a farm, a farmer and wife lived with a chicken, a pig and a mouse. One day, the mouse overheard the farmer talking to his wife, saying that he decided it was time to get rid of the mouse, so he will get mouse trap.  Alarmed by this, the mouse goes to tell his friend the chicken, asking if the chicken will help him. The chicken is unconcerned and says, “This doesn't concern me, take care of it yourself.”

Disappointed, but still hopeful, the mouse went to see his other friend, the pig, again asking for help. The pig said the same thing to the mouse, that this didn't affect the pig so the mouse should figure it out yourself. Discouraged, the mouse went and hid in his hole.

The next day, the farmer’s wife was awakened with a loud snap as an animal was caught in the mouse trap. All the animals were relieved when they heard that it was a snake that was caught in the trap. But when the farmer’s wife went to get the snake out of the trap, it bit her and she got very ill. To help his wife feel better, the farmer killed the chicken to make soup for his ailing wife. Sadly, the wife got worse and died. So, the farmer killed the pig to feed all the mourners at his wife’s funeral.
So, when a mouse comes asking for help, try to help, it will eventually affect us all.

“The Banquet Hall”

One night, a man had a dream. He was a psychologist and he dreamed of conducting his ultimate research study. In this study, there was a huge banquet hall with a delicious feast for everyone at the table. But, the people at the table had long forks that were attached to their hands, so they could not pick up the food, but were forced to use the utensils. These forks were 48 inches long, so long in fact, that no one was able to get the food to their mouths. Everyone kept trying, but no one could get the food in their own mouths. The people were becoming emaciated, frustrated and depressed.

Just as quickly as this room had appeared, he was transported to another room with the exact same gourmet food and the exact same forks attached to the hands of a new group of people. But, in this banquet hall, all the people were smiling, talking and even laughing. They did not look like they are starving. Then, he noticed the difference, in this room, the people are all feeding each other with the long forks.

Being a scientist, he had to find the difference. So, he asked a man at the table why they were feeding each other? The man said that everyone started to try to feed themselves and failed miserable. Finally, one woman asked the man next to her if she could try to put some food in his mouth with her long fork. It worked. When others saw this, they all started feeding each other and instantly changed the atmosphere of the room from frustration to joy.

I asked the 4^th graders what this story means. One boy said that if someone is willing to help, their example can change the world around them. I like that.

Quotes to end the blog:

“I'm not young enough to know everything.”

- J.M. Barrie






“The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.”

- William James

Spirituality of Storytelling-Part 4

"Do a Good Deed and Don’t Get Caught”

The following is a true story that the students enjoy every year. I had a friend named Elizabeth who was one of the happiest people I knew. Always with a smile on her face, she seemed to weather the storms in life with equanimity and she truly enjoy the simple pleasures. Once, I asked her how she seemed to stay so positive and she told me this story.

When she was a young adult, she was focused on her life and getting what she wanted, yet she found life unsatisfying. She was talking to a mentor in her life and her mentor gave her an assignment. The assignment was to do a good deed and not get found out. She was given specific instructions.

She was told to purchase a dozen roses and go to a nursing home, walk up to the front desk and tell the receptionist to give the dozen roses to someone who never gets any visitors. Then, she had to turn around and leave before the receptionist had a chance to thank her or say anything. Next, the hardest part is not to tell anyone she did it.

So, Elizabeth did it per instruction. She felt so good walking out of the nursing home that she picked up her phone and almost called her best friend to share the wonderful experience. But, she caught herself just in time and hung up. All through the day, she was thinking about what she did and she felt the urge to tell someone and let it out, but she knew she wanted to follow directions and see what happened.

For the next couple days, Elizabeth felt like she was bursting and really wanted to share this with friends and co-workers, but she kept it in. On the third day, as she was driving home, she said she felt a new feeling inside, it was almost like a ray of sunshine in her heart because she had done something good for someone else and didn't need to brag of get recognition as she usually did. Thus, there was something inside her that would grow as she found more ways, both big and small, to help her family, friends, co-workers and even strangers and not get caught.

A month later, when she recounted the story to her mentor, she was told that she could relay the story now to inspire others to do good deeds and not get caught. Oprah Winfrey and others have encouraged “Random Acts of Kindness” which is powerful. Also, the movie “Pay It Forward” dealt with this idea, but I like Elizabeth’s take and I encourage my students to do this and see how it makes them feel, to see if that sunshine gets planted in their hearts and starts to grow as they find the pure joy in helping others for the sake of helping, not getting the kudos for doing it. It may not be surprising that 4th graders seem to find this easier than some adults.
Quote to end story:

“When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps.”

- John Lennon

“The Starfish”

A young couple got married and had an ideal cottage on the shore on an isolated beach on the island of Kauai in Hawaii. Deeply in love, they were enjoying every moment together. One morning, the new wife woke up to find her husband was not in bed. She went and checked the kitchen, but he wasn't there either. Looking outside, she saw the sun cresting the mountainside and her husband on the beach, picking up starfish. This was such an odd sight that she ran outside to see what he was doing.

As she approached him, she saw starfish all over the beach, thousands and thousands of starfish everywhere. Her husband looked up and said, “Do you see this, a freak storm last night washed all these starfish on the shore and they will all die if we don’t get them back in the water.” 

She looked at him and said, “There are so many starfish, there is no way we can save them all, why don’t we just accept that they won’t survive and get on with the honeymoon? It won’t make a difference.” He looked at her, picked up a starfish, walked it back into the ocean and said, “It makes a difference to this one.” Looking around, she knew that even if they couldn't help them all, every one they could help would make a difference, so she picked up the closest starfish and smiled as she walked into the water. The long day they helped the starfish ended up being the best day of their honeymoon.

An afterward to this story, I find this story helpful as a teacher, because sometimes it feels like we can’t help all those stranded starfish we encounter in the classroom, but we can enjoy each one we bring back to shore.

Are You a Giver or a Taker?

My wonderful sister Nancy, who has been the inspiration of much of my gratitude, sent a powerful fax to me from ExecTech, a management company she works with. The fax was about determining if we are givers or takers. It really got me thinking.

Below is the fax from ExecTech. Interestingly, I usually think of myself as a “Giver”, but in the questionnaire below, I found myself surprisingly on the “Taker” list more than I would have imagined. It brought some awareness to some of my behavior, so I will try to bring the light of awareness into my life and actions by being less selfish and more giving, letting go of my expectations. I will take the challenge below.

NOTE: This fax was geared to doctors, so I did change the lists to make them more general. For example, I put “people” in the place of “patients.”

“Danny Tomas was a successful comedian, actor and producer for five decades. He starred in many shows including "Make Room for Daddy" which ran for 13 years. Actress Marlo Tomas is his daughter. 

When he was broke and struggling, he vowed that if his show-business career took off, he would help those in need. So at the peak of his success, he decided to build a hospital that would treat children with life-threatening diseases, while finding new cures. He believed that "no child should die in the dawn of life." 

Danny and his friends built St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis Tennessee. It is the nation's second largest health-care charity and is supported by over one million volunteers nationwide. Discoveries at St. Jude have changed how doctors treat children with cancer and other catastrophic illnesses.  

Danny Tomas said, "There are two types of people in this world: givers and takers. Takers always eat better, but givers always sleep better." 

10 Signs You Are a Taker 

1.      You focus on getting money more than anything else. 

2.       You use unfair pressure to get what you want. 

3.       As long as someone adds to your bottom line, you support them. If they do not, you ignore           them. 

4.       You search for ways to cheat the IRS and insurance companies with exaggerations and                “gaming the system.” 

5.       If you hurt someone while taking what you want, you have no regrets. 

6.       You truly believe everyone else in this world is just after money, and you hope they will fail. 

7.       You are secretly delighted when others believe your lies and give you what you want. 

8.       You treat everyone as pieces in your game, never teammates. 

9.       You can only give or accept help if it increases your bottom line. 

10.   You eat really well, but you may not sleep well and have health problems. 

10 Signs You Are a Giver 

1.      You measure your success based on many things, not just material success. 

2.       You help others when you can regardless of your bottom line.

3.       As you move up the wealth ladder, you give help to those in need, whenever you can. 

4.       If someone cheats or hurts you, you get even by succeeding more than ever before. 

5.       You celebrate the success of others. 

6.       You do what you do because you love it. 

7.       You increase your happiness with intelligence, hard work and passion. 

8.       You give joy to others. You make them happier which then makes you happier. 

9.       You really sleep well. You feel like smiling most of each day. You feel strong! 

10.   You feel sorry for Takers. You know you will live a longer and happier life than they will.” 

Owen’s Challenge: 

Try to find a new way to give our time, talent and treasure to your family, friends, colleagues, strangers and the world. We may not be able to do something as big as what Danny Thomas did, but we can definitely change our worlds by being Givers.

Here are some more thoughts I had on being a Giver or Taker:

Once at a talk, the leader said he doesn't like to "pigeon-hole" people or minimize them by classifying them, but he still divides everyone in the world to two groups. He asked us all if we could guess the two groups. Someone guessed "Winners/Looser", someone else guessed, "Nice/Mean." Neither answer was right, he said he can put everyone in one of two groups, "Givers" and "Takers." He went on to delineate the characteristics of each. 

First of all, givers are happier because they are thinking about others and not so focused on themselves, their  problems or making everything work out exactly as they think they need it to be to achieve happiness. Givers have more energy because they get back more than they give to others. Altruistic giving has been shown to increase positive neurotransmitters in the giver, receiver and anyone observing the act of giving. People who volunteer or care for others consistently are happier and less depressed.

Conversely, takers feel more depressed as they keep score and try to squeeze out an advantage to every deal. Takers waste opportunities to connect with others as they try to get everything they can in every interaction.

In another life, before I became a teacher, I worked in the business world. In one new employee training, they went over the old business plan and the new ideal. In the past, they said businesses went for the kill, trying to get every penny out of the customer in every deal, sometimes without regard for ethics. The new ideal is to create win/win situations, where we give the customer something in exchange for their long-term business. 

At this training, they went on to talk about "emotional" back accounts. This was eye-opening for me, to think that when we deal with people, we need to make deposits into their emotional bank accounts before we can make a withdrawal. For example, if you ask someone for a favor, they are more likely to do it if you have cultivated a relationship and done something for them. Like a bank account, you can't let your account get negative. I agree with that, but would go on to say the most successful people are the ones who realize they have an enough to spread around and make deposits without keeping track. These are  the true givers in life.

Quotes to end blog: 

“It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” 

― Mother Teresa

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.” 
― Charles Dickens

“We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” 
― Winston S. Churchill

“You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.” 
― Khalil Gibran