Stuck at Starbucks in the Snow

In Atlanta, we have had a crazy week of weather. It is Thursday morning and we got 3 inches of snow last night. Incredibly, this week we have been out of school 3 out of the 4 days so far. A beautiful blanket of snow awaits my 6-year old, my wife and I after we eat breakfast.

Monday was OK, but Tuesday morning, I woke to icy roads and snow. I checked and school wasn't called off, so I got in my car and carefully headed off for work. My neighbor was also leaving at the same time, so I followed his tracks through the fresh snow. When we got to the main road, I got a little nervous because I started sliding on the ice, but I have driven in the snow before, so I thought I would make it. After all, I survived Snow-mageddon last year in Atlanta, where thousands were stranded overnight on the roads in a freak snow storm, but I was grateful for a 6 hour commute through the icy roads that day.

When I got on the freeway and started climbing the first hill, my heart started racing as I felt my car's traction slipping. I took some deep breaths and thought of turning around and going home, but that would be just as dangerous at that point, so I carefully crested the hill and made it to flatter ground. I felt my shoulders tense and tried to relax but stay alert. A few unlucky cars were already in the middle median and off on the shoulder. The roads were so treacherous that the police had closed the freeway in the opposite direction going down the hill.

After an hour, I made it my off-ramp and saw I had a text. I looked at it(while safely stopped) and saw that school was delayed until 10:30. Since the roads were so bad and I was 25 miles from home, I went a few blocks slowly to Starbucks. This Starbucks is always jammed, but I do stop once by once in a while to indulge in a Late with a gift card a generous student has given me. So, I called my wife, let her know I made it OK, but I told her I wish I was home, sipping a hot chocolate with her and my son. I even felt a little resentment that school didn’t send the text earlier and saved me the dangerous commute.

As she so gracefully does, my wife reminded me that I am always saying I don’t have enough time to write my book, a big project that will be due in September. I try to make progress when I have a few spare minutes, but big chunks of time are hard to find. The other irony here is that the book is about “gratitude” and I did not feel much gratitude until she reminded me about it. I was relieved to have made it to Starbucks, but I was stressed and my nerves were a little frazzled. I sipped my Veranda-blend coffee, sat down and started to graciously accept my situation.

It is funny, the two things that do seem to be in short supply in many of our lives are time and money. An old boss used to remind me of the importance of time by saying, “You can make more money, but you can’t make more time.” I have taken this to heart as I watch my son grow up too quickly and want to savor every moment with him and my wife.

A little deserted with only a couple people scattered throughout the coffee bar, I got a prime spot by the window and opened me computer. I did my gratitude list, felt better and then delved earnestly into one of the chapters I am working on. My sister, Diane, has been generously editing my work and it feels so good to be making progress. I hoped to get her off another chapter by the time the roads cleared.

Suddenly, the young man sitting near me picked up his phone and started to become agitated, saying, “If I don’t make it to court in an hour, I will go to jail.” This caught my attention. He went on to say that he realized the roads were bad, but he needed a ride and a taxi would cost $200. I immediately tried to think if I could help him, but needed to know where he had to go. When he got off the phone and we talked, it turned out be too far for me to take him and be back in time for school. It turns out this young man had just got off a graveyard shift and didn't have a car. Finally, the person originally slated to take him couldn't get through the snow and he was stuck.

The disconsolate young man said, “I will walk in the snow and hopefully make it there in a few hours and the judge may take pity on me.” I was trying to think of other options for him.

But then, miraculously, the woman with a few kids sitting near us said that her husband telecommutes and he could possible take him to court.  It felt so encouraging to hear this woman offer help to a stranger. In 15 minutes, her husband arrived and they went off to the courthouse. They got there with 5 minutes to spare.

I complimented the helpful woman and told her that her good deed was commendable. She simple said that she had been helped in her life and it was her turn and that she takes every opportunity to help others. She went on to say she has been given so much, she should give back. It turns out she was also a teacher and her school was also delayed. As we talked, I told her that the example she is demonstrating to her children is extremely powerful. I followed her 3 beautiful children as they went out to play in the snow. I crunched some snow underneath my shoes, took a deep breath of the frigid air and felt deeply alive and connected, after witnessing this noble action. Here is a photo of the snowman they built.

Instead of writing the book, I got to know her and enjoyed being “stuck at Starbucks.” The book waiting until later and it was easier to write because I was a witness to some true “gratitude in action.”

We never know what will happen in life, but when we observe these altruistic acts of giving and kindness, we are reminded that the world truly is filled with kind people and the world is a good place, even with all the indicators that seem to be saying that the world is a miserable place that is only getting worse.

I will end the blog with a quote this compassionate woman gave me:

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can."-John Wesley

The Challenges and the Miracles of My First Year Teaching

After 10 years in the classroom, I have been reflecting on my early days in the trenches of education. Recalling these stories and life lessons have given me a new appreciation of this journey.

My first year teaching, I entered the classroom with idealistic dreams. I went through extra training in pedagogy that tempered those lofty goals and gave me many tools I was anxious to use.  I taught 7^th grade science in an inner-city school and saw 120 students a day.  Sadly, within a few weeks, dealing with a multitude of challenges, I quickly slipped into survival mode and questioned my decision to become a teacher.  But, small and sometimes tremendous miracles did happen that kept me moving forward.

Because I had been practicing gratitude and keeping a gratitude list, I still kept a decent attitude through all the challenges of that first year.  A fellow teacher commented that even though my first year was tough and she saw me struggle, I kept the most positive attitude she had ever seen. That positive outlook did help me, but I didn’t see how it could apply with the students yet.

Of all the things I have done in my life, getting through my first year of teaching was by far my most challenging undertaking. And yes, during that first year, I would reach those transcendent moments where I did connect with the student and felt the magic that happens when the classroom unites in learning.

Angel

During my first week of teaching, one day I came across one of my student, Angel, sitting in the hallway with some sheet music. I asked, “Are you a musician?”

 She said, “No, but I love to sing and I am learning a new song.” I asked her if she would sing for me, but Angel said, “No, Mr. Griffith, I am too shy.”

As I walked away I said, “Someday, when you are ready, you will sing for me.”

Then, a month later, Angel saw me in hallway and said, “Mr. Griffith, I am ready today.” I tried to think about what she meant. Through the tornado of activity that first month, I forgot about that previous interaction. But, she brought out the sheet music, and I remembered it all. I realized that she had been working for a month on the song and getting her courage up just for this day. I asked her if she would perform for the class, but she said, “No, I will sing just for you.”

When the students all exited the classroom, she closed her eyes, and a voice came out of her that fit her name. It truly seemed like an angel had entered the classroom as she sang. I closed my eyes and enjoyed connecting with her on a different level.

As I listened, I also realized the power to inspire we have as teachers, and that when we challenge our students, they will often respond positively. In addition, she inspired me to bring my guitar into the classroom and share music with my students, integrating it into class. While she grew in her courage through this interaction, I grew in my ability to connect with my students by seeing that there are many ways to reach students outside the traditional paradigms.

As the year progressed, I kept doing the things that worked, but classroom management was getting in the way of my lessons. This was a tough school, and I was breaking up fights in my classroom, as well as dealing with students who had given up on life by the 7^th grade. I wanted to reach all these students so much, but I could only connect from time to time with a small fraction of them.

Many nights, I would wake up at 3 AM, haunted by all the things going wrong with my teaching. This is when I would do a personal gratitude list and still find the good things happening among all the apparent problems. This kept me going through those darkest hours. Just when I thought of quitting and going back to my old career, a major miracle happened.

Robert

Robert was a tough 7^th grader who didn’t seem to care about school or anything else. By his own admission, he was on the brink of joining a gang and failing every subject. When I would pass out the science assignment for the day, he would say, “Mr. G., science doesn’t mean anything in my life.” Then, he would ceremoniously crumple up the assignment and throw it in the trash saying, “I’ll take an “F” for the day.” This bothered me tremendously, and I tried different things to reach him, but didn’t seem to get through.

Then after Christmas Break, one day I handed out a new assignment about the scientific method. Surprisingly, Robert looked intently at the page and said, “Will you help me with this Mr. G?” After what he said registered in my brain, I quickly went to his desk and guided him through the scientific method. On the way home that night, I found myself smiling and wondering what happened to Robert. The next thing that ran through my mind was, “Will this change last, or was it a one day anomaly?”

The next day, we delved further into the scientific method, and Robert asked more questions. Even more shocking, he started helping some of his fellow students who used to throw the papers away right along with Robert. Robert’s turn around came at my darkest hour in the classroom. I don’t know if I would have kept going if it hadn’t been for this minor miracle.

But I realized it wasn’t just a minor miracle. When a student who was thinking about joining a gang and failing every subject turned around and not only got straight A’s in my science class but also got straight A’s in every subject by the end of the year, helped other students in academics, and stayed out of trouble, I realized I was a small part of a major mireacle. When I had one award to give at the end of the year, I gave it to Robert and felt overwhelmed with joy as he walked across the stage at the assembly to receive his award. His parents came to the ceremony and were beaming with the same joy we all shared that day.

Astonished and encouraged by this student’s turn around, I asked my mentor if she had a student like this every year, and she said that she has not had any students like this in her seven years of teaching. I examined Robert’s dramatic about face with his other teachers, but we could not locate that specific instance that changed him and got him on a positive track. When I asked Robert what had happened, he said, “You never gave up on me and kept trying with me Mr.G.” I was reminded of a saying from a pedagogy course that said, “All it takes to change a student’s life is the appropriate adult at the appropriate time.”