Whitney Cole is a teacher who is utilizing gratitude in a powerful way in her classroom. For years, I have been using the video of her on You Tube to show everyone how gratitude can spread from the classroom out into the community. Please watch her video and then read her Guest Blog.
Five years ago, the bell would ring and the students left discouraged and exhausted from a long day of struggle. In a neighborhood where daily life was full of uncertainty for most families, the anxiety only continued in school with rigorous academics, navigating social complexities, and worrying about family hardships. As a teacher, it was heartbreaking to see them leave so defeated from the day. It was then that my grade level decided to explicitly teach gratitude and begin a gratitude journal, a way to end the day on a softer, happier note.
In a community that didn’t have a lot of material blessings, we wanted to focus on the world, opportunities, people, and simple acts of kindness. We wanted gratitude to go beyond robotically saying thank you and appreciating the “things” of life. The journals had three segments and were completed in the last 15 minutes of every day. Students were expected to write a detailed reflection, three things that they appreciated from the day, and an act of kindness that they either participated in or planned to do later. Afterward, every child shared at least one gratitude while the rest of the class listened. It was a sweet and hopeful way to end the day, and the benefits were astounding.
Academically, gratitude fostered a stronger relationship with school. It allowed me as their teacher to hear what works and what doesn’t in our lessons. Since students were leaving school feeling better and more connected to what they were learning, parents were more willing to support staff and see us as part of their team. By widening the students’ support network, children were naturally more successful and engaged. Plus, even if students struggled academically during the day, that didn’t negate success in the gratitude journal. Having a spot in the day to feel valued and heard imprinted on a child’s willingness to put forth effort throughout the day.
Socially, the journals connected students to each other without them even realizing it. Despite different social cliques or interests on the playground, students were connecting to each other across peer groups. They began inquiring about each others’ lives and asking follow up questions to what they shared during gratitudes. In turn, this decreased the amount of in-class behaviors and instead, kids were being more supportive and softer with each other. Knowing that their fellow students had their backs allowed for a family feel and a safe place for learning. Students were more willing to be risk takers academically and more eager to collaborate in group work.
Emotionally, the gratitudes started at the surface level. It took weeks, even months, for the students to show vulnerability. Over time, students became more secure in their place in the classroom community, and trust was built, allowing them to be unharnessed. With patience, their gratitudes became less commerce-centered, and more value-centered, exposing who they truly were as people. Sometimes in darkness it is easier to see the light, and they began to reveal family struggles, personal hardships, or social speed bumps. If a parent was struggling with illness, a child’s gratitude might reflect their happiness for them feeling better. As a teacher, it gave me an avenue to hear about their lives both in and out of the classroom. Relationships were strengthened, and students understood that they were not seen as one-dimensional, but as multifaceted people with a myriad of strengths and weaknesses.
I now teach at a more affluent school, and the hierarchy of needs is much different. I doubted the effectiveness of the gratitude journal with a population that doesn’t have to look so hard to find the wonder of the world. But I was wrong. Gratitude brings perspective, drives empathy, and all demographics benefit from that. Just as it was important to soften the edges of those from rougher backgrounds, it is equally important to instill a well-rounded, global context for those with fewer worries in life. The gratitude journals provide a chance to discuss all aspects of life and that their blessings and opportunities should not be taken for granted. After all, we are all interdependent, and by understanding society’s greater landscape, students are more inclined to show appreciation and treat others with dignity.
At its core, gratitude is about being aware of who or what makes the good parts of life possible and acknowledging that contribution. By practicing this daily, students will become more balanced and less self-centered. They can instead focus on the juicy bits of life, and learn to recognize and empathize the needs of others, resulting in a happier, more caring world.
