Guest Blog by Aaryn Birchell-"It's a Trick, but a Treat!"

It's a Trick, but a Treat!

By: Aaryn Birchell

My Grandma Snow had a non-negotiable Halloween tradition. If you wanted a treat, you had to do a trick.  Whether it was playing a song on her piano, or reciting a poem, or doing a handstand, we prepared a trick before we knocked on her door. Though I would start off feeling pretty silly playing a piano song in my butterfly costume, Grandma’s clapping and, “Thank you for your performance!” made me feel pretty good, even better than the treat of a honey-sweet popcorn ball.

Years later I was sitting in my classroom wondering what to do.   Though I started every day with a burst of positive energy and taught my students with unending excitement for literature and communication, my students resented my rigor.  I cut down the amount of essays and novels from the previous teacher, but they complained about every step of the process.

I had a culture problem in my Sophomore English class.

“We really like you as a person . . .we just really hate your class.”

Ouch.

Some students approached the class with a great attitude, but the majority’s destructive complaining  affected my students’ learning and emotional health.

How does one force teenagers to have a good attitude?

That’s the trick.

My summer focused on looking for ways to influence my classroom culture.  But giving my students every part of me had me feeling pretty burned out. The thought of doing More and MORE felt overwhelming. Hence my criteria

1. Effective
2. Cheap
3. Simple

Quite the Trick indeed.

Enter Gratitude! I read how gratitude opens learning and floods the brain with positive hormones that actually help students learn more.  It promotes better sleep, better relationships, better overall health.

Effective? Check!

Cheap? Check!

Simple? . . . .Hmmm. I imagined the first day of school telling a bunch of teeagers, “Just be grateful!”  and watch their jaded and resentful eyes narrow in.

However, deep down, my students needed gratitude. I needed it too.

Fast forward a few months and I had my “simple to implement” method figured out. To avoid a logistical nightmare, “The Gratitude Tracker” is a simple grid sheet with five columns for the school days in a week and three rows for the weeks. Each box is numbered

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

A glance revealed my students’ gratitude.  I kept the criteria simple. As long as there were five words written down each day, (It could even be the same 5 words every day) they got the participation points. I also warned them that they could not just fill in a bunch in one day.  The benefit was from the daily practice.

Some kids thought it was dumb.  No worries. “This is a simple thing that will get you points that will improve your grade.” Avoiding the “Just be grateful” trap, I taught them how this practice will help their brains learn more in class with less effort and longer retention. It was all about learning.

Soon this little trick became a treat.  Students started talking about what they were going to write down as they shared their gratitude observations with others.  Some students self selected to write down something different each day. Other students started looking for things to write down in the gratitude tracker as they went throughout the day. My daughter when she was in my class loved cold cereal and tried to come up with as many different types of cold cereals that she could find just to see how long she could go.

The method didn’t matter.

Kids were practicing the powerful behavior of gratitude.

Most importantly, our classroom culture changed. Same teacher using the same stories and poems, but the overall attitude of the class about the learning improved!  Now I will never say that ALL students loved EVERY day in my classroom. I still have students who occasionally resent the rigor, but enrollment in the advanced classes went from two sections offered at my school to needing five sections. Yes, the class is challenging, but so many former student said it was really worth it.

And the treat?

Increased learning.

Better emotional health and attitude about learning.

More thank you notes at the end of the year than I had ever received before.  

Grandma knew what she was doing those many years ago. If you want a treat, you have to do a little trick.

Aaryn Birchell’s Bio:

Draped on the wall in lace and burlap a sign in Mrs. Aaryn Birchell’s classroom asks, “Does your Grit have Gratitude?” Modeling this mindset with eager eyes, endless energy and a “You-can-do-it!” attitude, she champions and celebrates students. As the 2018 Utah Teacher of the Year, Aaryn continues that advocacy for students statewide to help address the teacher shortage while supporting a citizen initiative that would bring additional funding to education.

Aaryn honed her teaching skills after earning her degree by volunteering at the Utah State University Writing Center and working as a substitute teacher for twelve years. When a part-time position teaching advanced sophomore English classes opened at her alma mater, Uintah High, she jumped at the chance to teach emerging adults the beauty of life through world literature. Now teaching full time, she has additional responsibility and joy teaching AP Literature.

In school, Aaryn advocates by listening to overwhelmed teens and arranging over eighteen service projects for Honor Society; by coordinating a scholarship writing workshop and teaching ACT prep classes; by decorating for Prom late into the night and co-writing the annual Senior Poem.

In her community, she serves as a board member of the Uintah Literacy Commission and as former director of the Vernal Storytelling Festival, constantly looking for opportunities to connect a well-lived life to literacy.

In her professional affiliations, her service on the local and state Education Agencies demonstrates the grit needed to advocate for the teaching profession also enriches the lives of her students and her own family.

In her home, she shares her deep gratitude for the joy that teaching brings with her husband Garn and their four kids, often nestling them under a tree in the Uintah Basin she calls home.

eCourse-Gratitude-A Way of Teaching is now On-Demand

Check out my new On-Demand eCourse 
Gratitude-A Way of Teaching

Here are a few recommendations from the book, Gratitude-A Way of Teaching, that goes with this eCourse:

“Gratitude: A Way of Teaching should be required reading for teachers, administrators, parents, and anyone else who has a stake in our children’s future. You will be challenged, edified, and stirred to take a fresh look at this timeless virtue and see why we owe our children the gift of gratitude.”

~ Robert A. Emmons, Editor-in-Chief, The Journal of Positive Psychology; author of Gratitude Works! and Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier

In a time of tests, accountability, and burnout, Gratitude: A Way of Teaching beautifully encourages teachers and students to connect to their own and each other’s humanity by stopping for a moment and asking, “What is wonderful about life?”

~ Vicki Zakrzewski, PhD, Education Director, Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley

In Gratitude: A Way of Teaching, Owen M. Griffith does a superb job at giving teachers practical strategies for making their students grateful. Following these strategies, and with patience and persistence, we can significantly influence the children in our own personal worlds. And, if we do, that will influence programs, clubs, schools, and other institutions in the community, too….Our society needs this more than ever. 

~ Jeffrey J. Froh, Associate Professor, Hoffstra University and co-author of Making Grateful Kids: The Science of Building Character

“In a very practical way, Owen M. Griffith shows us how gratitude can be incorporated into the schools. Filled with inspiring examples and many practical suggestions, Gratitude: A Way of Teaching can be used to improve the gratitude of students in your classroom, and perhaps more importantly, it should help teachers generate a more grateful attitude toward their students.”

~ Philip Watkins, Professor of Psychology, Eastern Washington University

Blog-Confession of an Author

A couple years ago, I wrote a book, and if you are reading my blog, you can see it at the top of the page. Writing that book felt like climbing Mt. Everest, but I am glad I did it, and I am still hearing how it is helping teachers. Recently, a colleague in training in Utah told me that she heard a speaker, the Utah State Teacher of the Year, say that reading my book helped her, and that implementing a gratitude list with her students transformed her high school English class.

But, just when I thought I had made this big accomplishment, life reminded me to stay humble (which leads to more gratitude for me). Here are a couple little anecdotes that I found amusing.

The local library purchased my book and put it in their collection. I took my son, who was 7 at the time, to the library and walked down the aisle and asked, “What would you think if Daddy’s book was in this library?” I wanted to surprise him. His eyes lit up and he said, “Really Daddy-that would be so cool.” So, I found my book, pulled it out and showed it to him. He looked at it and said, “You get the award for having the most boring book in this library. Next time, don’t write about gratitude, write about Super-Heroes.” I laughed so hard! I did show him that his name was in the dedication in the book, and finally he was impressed. In hindsight, I should have told him, “My book is about Super-Heroes; it’s about teachers.” Nothing could be truer.

Recently, they featured local authors at the library (I go to my local library too much). I was walking past the display and saw a woman pick up my book and leaf through it. I had to smile and hold back the urge to say, “That is my book, do you know how much work I put into it?” But, I just walked by and let her peruse it. I have to admit that I was disappointed when I saw her put it back and move on to another book. I should have stopped and talked to her.

Finally, I ran across a gentleman last week who had come to one of my talks and brought a book a couple years ago. He came up to me with a smile and said, “I bought one of you books a couple years ago… Can I have my money back?” I had to laugh, but it all ended in a positive way. He had brought it for a friend who was a teacher, and she was gone. However, he ended up deciding to donate my book to a local school. So, whatever comes your way, keep everything in perspective, and take it with a large dose of gratitude.

Podcast on Forgiveness and a 9 Step Process

I really enjoyed this Podcast on "Forgiveness" and the woman who works in prisons and on Navajo reservations to help people in this process. One thing that is surprising in the "9 Step Forgiveness Process" is that you can experience the healing of forgiveness without the other person saying, "I'm sorry." 

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/podcasts/item/forgive_your_father

Can Gratitude Help Couples Through Hard Times?

From Greater Good Science Center's Magazine:

New research suggests that thanking our partners for supporting us through hardship may increase their joy and satisfaction in giving.

BY JILL SUTTIE | MAY 24, 2018

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When my best friend went through multiple surgeries and dislocations following a botched hip replacement, she was in near-constant pain. Her husband rose to the challenge of caring for her, but it wasn’t always easy for him. Nor was it easy for my friend, who vacillated between gratitude and frustration over his care. 


“I often had to ask for help, which didn’t feel great,” my friend told me. “I felt apologetic, but I didn’t have much choice. It’s hard to give, but it’s also hard to ask.”

Care taking for someone can be a challenge, but it’s especially charged when their needs are frequent and long-term. A caregiver may feel obligated to help, but doing so may bring little joy or sense of meaning, making it hard to sustain. And it can be equally stressful for the receiver of care.Our close relationships are an important part of a meaningful life. But what happens when someone we love is sick or going through a very rough time, and we are called upon to be a helper over and over again?

How can couples improve this dynamic? New research suggests that what motivates people to help is crucial—and that motivation is affected by both their interactions with the person they’re caring for and their life outside caregiving.

Why do you help?

Researchers who study motivation identify two basic types: autonomous or intrinsic motivation—when you do something because it brings you joy, satisfaction, or meaning—and controlled or extrinsic motivation—when you do something out of loyalty or because you’d feel guilty if you didn’t do it. Either way, you end up helping, but autonomous motivation feels better and leads to better outcomes. 

In studies looking at caregiving situations like my friend’s, researchers found that caregivers who had more intrinsic motivation to help their sick partners felt happier, more satisfied with their relationship, and less distressed about caregiving, and were less prone to exhaustion, than those who helped out of a sense of duty. Interestingly, the partner being cared for also seemed to benefit: They were more satisfied with their relationship and, in some cases, felt greater pain relief.

Why would the internal motivations of helpers affect their partners? Sara Kindt, one of the coauthors of these studies, says it has to do with how motivation affects the caregivers’ responsiveness toward their partner.

“Autonomously motivated partners are more open, curious, and sincerely receptive to a partners’ preferences and needs,” she says. “In contrast, a partner’s controlled helping motivation might be associated with reacting in a more restrictive, less responsive way.”

That may be well and good, but isn’t your motivation out of your control? It turns out it’s not—at least not entirely. Instead, it might be possible to nudge it in a more autonomous direction with gratitude.

In a recent study by Kindt and her colleagues, couples—where one member suffered from a painful condition called fibromyalgia and the other was a frequent caregiver—filled out daily questionnaires for two weeks. The caregivers reported on what motivated them to help their partners, whether they thought their partners were grateful, and to what degree helping kept them from fulfilling personal goals that day—like maintaining relationships with others, enjoying leisure time, working, or taking care of their own health.

Researchers found that on days when caregivers perceived more gratitude from their partners, their motivation to help was significantly more autonomous. It was less autonomous when they felt thwarted in fulfilling their goals—probably no surprise there. However, perceiving gratitude also had carryover effects, making caregivers more intrinsically motivated to help the next day, too. Conflicts with personal goals had no such carryover effects.

“Gratitude is a powerful thing,” says Kindt. “Like the title of a paper by Adam Grant suggests, ‘A little thanks goes a long way.’”

How to give and receive

What might this mean for couples going through hard times? According to Kindt, it helps show that preserving a positive relationship during caregiving is important for the well-being of both caregivers and care receivers, and that giving and receiving gratitude could be the glue that helps do that.

Still, it might be hard to feel grateful when you’re in pain or feeling down. My friend suggested that it was difficult for her when she sensed her husband was not anticipating her needs as well as he could or trying to get by doing the minimum.

“It was usually easy to say thank you, and I did tell him I was grateful,” she said. “But I didn’t feel an uncomplicated gratitude. It was more like, ‘Thank you, but I wish it was different.’”

You can’t force gratitude—otherwise, it can feel more like an expression of indebtedness, which does not result in the same benefits as authentic gratitude. And, if other people pick up on our ambivalence, it might be hard for them to accept our gratitude as real.

In these moments, perhaps it would be helpful to recognize our difficult situation and try expressive writing, which can be a good way to explore painful emotions—like disappointment, sadness, or anger—and find more compassion for ourselves and others. Doing so may open the door to more positive emotions—like gratitude.

Gratitude Quiz

Research Insights from Independent Schools Magazine: Improving Teacher Well-Being

In spring 2017, educators across the United States answered these questions as part of the Emotion Revolution for Educators survey, a joint initiative between the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and New Teacher Center, supported by the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.
   
In the study, we wanted to unpack teachers’ current emotional reality and explore links between educators’ emotional lives and school-related experiences. Using social media and outreach to like-minded organizations such as Edutopia and NAIS, as well as connecting directly with schools, nearly 7,000 educators from across the nation completed the survey. The full survey results will be released in a series of scholarly papers throughout 2018. Here, we compare some initial results from the national sample to approximately 500 teachers recruited from NAIS.
 

How Teachers Feel

First, teachers were asked to describe in their own words the three most frequent emotions they felt each day at school. The top three feelings from the national sample were frustrated, overwhelmed, and stressed, whereas the top three from teachers in the NAIS sample were: frustrated, joyful/happy, and excited. “Frustrated” was by far the most mentioned emotion for all teachers. It appears private school teachers report greater happiness and excitement than teachers who work in public or charter schools. It’s also noteworthy that the private school teachers who participated in this research reported less anxiety-related emotions like stress.
   
We then asked teachers how they want to feel at school. The top three emotions that teachers in the national sample wanted to feel were: happy, appreciated/valued, and supported, whereas the top hoped-for emotions for teachers in the NAIS sample were: joy/joyful, happy, and excited. It appears that teachers in public schools have a greater need for appreciation and support than teachers who work in private schools.
 

Why Teachers’ Emotions Matter

At the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, we study how emotions drive effective teaching and learning, the decisions students and educators make, the quality of teacher-to-student and student-to-student relationships, and both student and educator well-being and school climate. We assert that emotions matter a great deal in school for four primary reasons.
 
Attention, memory, and learning. Joy and excitement harness attention and promote greater engagement. Boredom and stress disrupt concentration and interfere with learning. Chronic stress can result in the persistent activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the release of stress hormones like cortisol. Prolonged release of cortisol impacts brain structures associated with executive functioning and memory.
 
Decision-making. Strong, negative emotions can hijack the brain in ways that make wise decision-making impossible. In contrast, people in pleasant moods tend to evaluate individuals, places, and events more favorably compared with people in unpleasant moods. Pleasant moods also tend to enhance mental flexibility and creativity.
 
Relationships. Emotions are signals about changes in relationships. For example, the emotions that teachers feel each day in class influence teacher-student bond. Teachers who display frustration and anger often alienate students, and that can influence students’ sense of safety and belongingness in the classroom and their ability to learn.
 
Health and well-being. How we feel influences our physical and mental health. Stress, for example, is associated with increased levels of cortisol, which has been shown to lead to weight gain. Positive moods are associated with higher levels of serotonin, which has been shown to curb one’s appetite. Pleasant emotions, in general, provide health benefits, including greater resilience.
   
The good news is that many of the independent school teachers in this study reported experiencing more positive than negative emotions in school. The bad news across private and public school teachers: Everyone is reporting feeling frustration, which when prolonged can lead to stress, poor health, depression, anxiety, disruptive sleep patterns, and decreased focus. These consequences eventually can lead to low performance, increased absenteeism, high turnover, and low student achievement.
 

Closing the Emotion Gap

One important finding across all types of schools in this study is that a healthy school climate—where teachers and parents support one another, teachers and administrators get along well, and teachers care about one another and are committed to their students—correlates positively with teachers’ reports of more positive and fewer negative emotions. Moreover, positive emotions appear to be a protective factor against burnout, including emotional exhaustion, lower turnover intent, mental health problems, sleep problems, and absenteeism.
   
The question now becomes: How can schools create healthy, prosocial climates that will best support teachers to help them become more resilient and thrive? Current research shows that most effective approaches include a focus on building a positive school climate and infusing evidence-based practices to develop teachers’ emotion skills.
   
At the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, we developed RULER (ruler.yale.edu), an evidence-based approach to social-emotional learning (SEL). In validating the effectiveness of RULER, we found that it enhances classroom emotional climate, reduces burnout, and enhances academic achievement. RULER is grounded in emotional intelligence and systems theories and is built upon decades of research showing that the skills associated with recognizing, understanding, labeling, expressing, and regulating emotion are essential to effective teaching, learning, and leading. Importantly, RULER starts with training adults so they can develop key emotion skills and be role models before infusing practices into the classroom.
   
Coaching is another approach that prevents stress and helps teachers develop strategies for managing it. New Teacher Center’s mentoring and induction model has been found to strengthen relationships and collegiality, resulting in a supportive environment for beginning teachers. Mentors and new teachers discuss challenges such as those related to student behavior and communication with families, often sources of stress for new teachers. Mentors help new teachers establish a prosocial culture, climate, and community in the classroom, which is the very foundation for social and emotional learning. 
             
For teachers to perform at their best and thrive in all aspects of their lives, we need to close the “feelings gap.” Emotions are a power source waiting to be constructively tapped. Fortunately, more and more schools are seeing the benefits of SEL training on educator and student outcomes; more schools of education are starting to integrate preparation in the area; and more policies around SEL are being considered. If we want our teachers and youth to succeed, schools must be places where SEL is integrated into how leaders lead, teachers teach, and students learn.

Check out the entire Independent Magazine: https://www.nais.org/magazine/independent-school/

AUTHOR

Marc A. Brackett

Marc A. Brackett is director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence in New Haven, Connecticut. He’s available on Twitter @marcbrackett or via www.ei.yale.edu.

Wendy Baron

Wendy Baron is chief officer of social and emotional learning at New Teacher Center in Santa Cruz, California.

Owen's eCourse-see videos and sign up

My new and exciting eCourse, Gratitude: A Way of Teaching, just started, but it is not too late to sign up. Check out the links below to see a few short and fun videos about the course and then sign up at the link below.

Owen's eCourse videos

Sign up for the eCourse Gratitude; A Way of Teaching

ANXIOUS YOUTH? HOW A PURPOSEFUL LIFE HELPS LESSEN ANXIETY

Guest blog

By Laura Garrison-Brook

Anxiety in our world is on the rise. According to Robert Leahy, Ph.D., a clinical professor of psychology at Weill-Cornell University Medical School, the average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950’s.

Decade by decade, anxiety is increasing. Youth are particularly vulnerable here. The rise in anxiety stems from a variety of sources, but a key two serve as a double whammy. These days youth have less real relationships and more online connections. Both of these fuel unhappiness. Positive, strong relationships have been proven to be one of the greatest predictors of happiness. It’s ironic, but connecting with people online has been shown to feed a sense of isolation. Pictures of parties and get-togethers that we weren’t invited to make us feel sad and unpopular.

How can purpose help with anxiety?

Purpose shifts our focus from me-centered to we-centered. People who struggle with anxiety are often caught in a rumination rut. The more that we think a negative thought, the more we wire our brains to continue thinking in this way. By doing something purposeful, we shift from focusing relentlessly on ourselves to focusing on how we can benefit the world. This has a big impact. Studies have shown that people get a greater boost in happiness giving help than they do in receiving help.

Purpose helps build our social relationships. There is nothing more powerful than being connected to a group of people who have shared values and goals. By figuring out who we are and what we are good at, we can connect with others who have similar interests. These rich and robust relationships help to diffuse isolation and anxiety.

Purpose boosts our sense of competence. Purpose is the intersection of what we love to do, what we are good at and what the world needs. Aristotle said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” This knowledge guides how we show up in life. Knowing that we can make a meaningful contribution to the world is tremendously grounding. For anxious youth, this can be a balm to the soul. 

Purpose shifts our self-esteem from dependent to independent. Dependent self-esteem is like a yo-yo. If we have a bad hair day, it goes down. If we get invited to the party, it goes up. Even when things are going our way, anxiety persists. Outside factors determine whether we feel good about ourselves or not. Dependent self-esteem is like being stuck in the passenger seat of our own lives. We feel powerless.

When we know what our purpose is, it is like discovering our personal compass. We figure out where we need to go and start taking steps to get there. This shifts our self-esteem from dependent to independent. With independent self-esteem, we measure our self-worth against our own progress. Even if we initially fail in our efforts (which would put us in a tailspin with dependent self-esteem where we compare ourselves to others), with a purposeful attitude, as long as we are learning, it’s ok. We know that we are making progress towards our goal and that is what counts. This puts us in the driver’s seat. We are in control – and with this sense of control, our anxiety goes down. 

Purpose is the closest thing to a silver bullet for what ails youth. The National Institute of Mental Health shares that about 30% of girls and 20% of boys--totaling 6.3 million teens--have had an anxiety disorder. These are just the ones who have been diagnosed. Experts believe the number to be much larger than this, since many others do not seek help. 

By discovering our purpose, we can shift from isolation to connection. From boredom to engagement. From self-doubt to competence. From disengagement to being an authentic contributor to the world. These are just a few of the ways that purpose creates well-being and lessens anxiety in us.

Want to learn more about how to find your purpose? Discovering My Purpose is a nonprofit organization that can help. Go to www.DiscoveringMyPurpose.org

My New eCourse-Gratitude a Way of Teaching

My new eCourse, offered through Gratefulness.org, about using gratitude in education is now live to sign up for. Here is a brief description:

This five-session eCourse will include practical, research-based activities and a new gratitude curriculum shared by educator and author, Owen Griffith. Owen’s book, Gratitude: A Way of Teaching, will offer structure to help guide the course as we create opportunities for educators to explore gratitude as a way to improve class culture; academic and social success for students; and satisfaction and resilience in students and educators alike. We will start a network of educators using gratitude and answer the following questions:

• How can gratitude transform our schools, classrooms, and our lives?
• How do we challenge the culture of complaining and replace it with gratitude?
• What are the barriers to implementing gratitude in our classrooms and lives?
• How can we cultivate balance in our classrooms and our lives with mindfulness?
• What can we do to prevent burnout and instill resilience?
• How can we replace materialism and entitlement with gratitude and altruism?
• How can we spread gratitude to the community?

The class doesn't start until March, 2018, but please check out this link and feel free to share it:
https://learn.gratefulness.org/product/gratitude-way-teaching/.

PERSPECTIVE TAKING AND GRATITUDE WHAT’S THE RELATIONSHIP?

PERSPECTIVE TAKING AND GRATITUDE WHAT’S THE RELATIONSHIP?

By Owen M. Griffith and Wendy Baron

“Seek first understand, then to be understood.”

Stephen Covey
7 Habits of Highly Successful People

---

Why Perspective Taking? 

All too often, we hear stories of hate crimes and communities being torn apart by violence.  Underneath are attitudes of intolerance for others’ differences, such as race, culture, language, gender identity, etc.  Let’s change the odds! We educators can impact the next generation by cultivating tolerance and respect for diversity in perspective and ways of being.  And, we can even do it through our daily instruction to meet content standard expectations. Take a look at these two 6^th grade ELA standards in terms of their cognitive, social, and emotional demands:
Students will engage effectively in a range of collaborative discussions with diverse partners on topics, texts, and issues, building on others’ ideas and expressing their own clearly while respecting diverse perspectives.

and

Students will review the key ideas expressed and demonstrate understanding of multiple perspectives through reflection and paraphrasing.

Without direct, explicit instruction and cultivation of perspective-taking skills and attitudes, in addition to emotional and social skills of collaboration and active listening, students would not be successful in meeting these standards.

What is Perspective-Taking?

Perspective taking is the ability to take another’s viewpoint into account and to try to perceive another’s thoughts, feelings, or motivations. Simply put, perspective taking may be understood as “the cognitive capacity to consider the world from another individual’s viewpoint” (Galinsky, et al, 2008).  In order to truly be respectful of another’s perspective, we must also be aware of our own thoughts and feelings about that perspective, so that implicit bias is noticed, and openness and respect is chosen.  Respecting diverse perspectives requires self-awareness and self-regulation as foundational competencies

To be able to step outside our own small, circumscribed viewpoint is truly liberating. This is one of the most significant aspects of being human. Perspective-taking has many other benefits also. When we develop perspective-taking, a pro-social ability, we are more likely to reach out and help others. As educators, this can fundamentally change the way we teach our students, interact with parents, and collaborate with colleagues. A prosocial learning environment, where there is kindness, caring, and respect is optimal for students and educators to thrive.  Perspective taking is vitally important in establishing strong relationships, the cornerstone of healthy school and classroom environments.

Gratitude Fosters Perspective Taking

Gratitude as a practice is a call to action to be a caring individual, cultivates clarity of mind, moves us away from wants and worries, builds our capacity for forgiveness, grows generosity, and helps us respond to difficult situations constructively and with perspective[1].

Teachers and school leaders can use gratitude as an avenue to perspective taking.   We can begin by integrating appreciations in our staff meetings and PLCs to cultivate gratitude for one another as colleagues.  During the process, we begin to understand each other as human beings—with different thoughts and feelings. As gratitude increases, our relationships deepen, and collaboration and respect for one another increases.

Seeing schooling from the student’s viewpoint can provide us insights into how students are thinking and feeling. As educators, we can use students’ perspective to inform our lesson planning and instruction and create optimal learning environments where students are safe—physically, emotionally, and intellectually, engaged and motivated with culturally responsive practices, and where differences are understood, welcomed, and celebrated!

In the midst of teaching a lesson, an educator can take a moment to consider the perspectives of the students.  It might be that taking a few deep breaths to refocus and recalibrate while students are engaged in a task will provide insights that enable adaptations to the lesson that better address their emerging academic, emotional, and social needs.

Empathy, Respect, and Perspective-Taking

Many of our students come to school having experienced some type of trauma or stress. Students with four or more ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) have a greater tendency to act in ways that are disruptive to class and be struggling to regulate their emotions and behavior. Instead of asking what is wrong with a particular student, we could instead inquire about what has happened to that child.  Understanding the underlying causes of misbehavior strengthens our ability to be compassionate, and empathetic when addressing the behavior.  Gaining perspective softens us, resulting in greater generosity and respect for differences.

Developing empathy, respect and perspective-taking opens up opportunities to understand the wide range of students and their learning needs, and become more committed to doing whatever it takes to support all students in being successful academically, socially, and emotionally.

Perspective-Taking Activities

Here are some activities to increase perspective-taking for educators, mentors, and students:

·        Think about a time when you were able to clearly see another’s viewpoint, like traveling to another country. Then, consider how that changed your perspective.

·        Listen to students, colleagues, and mentors. Take time to ask probing questions about others frame of reference. What is their background? What are they passionate about?

·        After teaching a challenging lesson, let a student explain the lesson again to the class in their own words. Watch how the student’s perspective affects the manner in which they explain the lesson.

·        Sit at a student’s desk and really see from their perspective.

·        Think about something someone did for you recently. Then, look at the situation from their perspective by thinking about what the “cost” was for their action. Did they give up time or spend some money to help you? Then, reach out and thank them in person or write them a meaningful note.

·        Ask students to explore a scenario from multiple perspectives. Discuss the various perspectives, and invite students to share changes in their thoughts, feelings, and judgments about different people in the scenario at the beginning and at the end of the exercise.

·        Tell stories like “The Blind Men and the Elephant,” shared below, exploring how different perspectives add up to a better vision of a situation and more effective solutions to problems.

The Blind Men and the Elephant

One way to communicate the idea of perspective-taking to educators and students is to tell the fable of “The Blind Men and the Elephant.” In this story, six blind men surround an elephant, each feeling a different part of the animal. One man feels the side of the elephant and concludes it is a wall. Another feels a tusk and thinks it is a spear. Still, a different man feels the tail and proclaims that this is a rope.

Then, the men step back from the elephant, communicate their thoughts and listen to each other, putting together the idea that they all have one part of an elephant. The six blind men must use perspective-taking to open themselves up to this solution. Individually, they are limited in what they “see.” When collaborating with educators or working with students, we must remember that there are times when we only see one part of a situation. As this story illustrates, perspective-taking inspires collaboration, which in turn brings about a more complete picture of a situation with new solutions emerging as people explore other viewpoints.

Perspective-taking involves perception and interpretation. In the case of the blind men and the elephant, alone, they were unable to figure out the mystery, yet, together, they could see the big picture.

Likewise, for students and educators, as we cultivate our capacity for perspective-taking we open ourselves up to infinite possibilities of how we might learn from and support one another to see beyond our own narrow perspective.  For that, we can be truly grateful.

[1] Greater Good Science Center, Expanding Gratitude

Owen M. Griffith is an educator, consultant, and author, who wrote, Gratitude: A Way of Teaching. With generous funding from the Greater Good Science Center and working in collaboration with the New Teacher Center, Owen has been creating articles to help educators implement gratitude successfully in the classroom.

Wendy Baron, MA, is co-founder and Chief Officer, Social and Emotional Learning at New Teacher Center.  Wendy is a teacher, coach, author, researcher, and champion for optimal learning environments where students and educators can thrive.