How to Be Happier for 2021

         How to Be Happier

1.       DO NOT FOCUS ON GOALS.
Even though you may intellectually reject the idea that happiness can be achieved or bought, you must be constantly vigilant against that internal voice that whispers, “But I would be a bit happier if only ...” One strategy to try is to reflect on those times when you were convinced that a certain accomplishment or possession would bring greater happiness, yet your life was not significantly different after you reached your goal. How many times have you had this experience? How many more are needed to finally convince you that it does not work that way?

2.       MAKE TIME TO VOLUNTEER.
People who volunteer to help those in need tend to report being happier. Perhaps it is because working with those less fortunate makes you grateful for what you have. Also, volunteering often brings satisfaction and self-esteem, because you feel engaged in worthwhile work and are appreciated by those you serve. Do not compare yourself with others who seem better off than you are, because that usually results in dissatisfaction.

3.       PRACTICE MODERATION.
If you grow too accustomed to pleasurable things, they will no longer bring you happiness. For example, you may enjoy two or three short vacations more than one long one. And you will enjoy your favorite meal more if you reserve it for a special occasion.

4.       STRIVE FOR CONTENTMENT.
Rethink your beliefs about the nature of happiness. Experiences of great pleasure or joy stand out in memory, and it is easy to conclude that being truly happy means being in that state most or all of the time. The very reason you savor and remember such an experience, however, is because it is not the norm. Instead of equating happiness with peak experiences, you would do better to think of happiness as a state of contentment and relative lack of anxiety or regret.

5.       PRACTICE LIVING IN THE MOMENT.
Start small by focusing on your sensory experience while engaged in a routine task. Over time, spend less energy thinking about the past or the future.

--Originally published: Scientific American MIND 18( 1); 36-43 (February/ March 2007).

Updated Blog-Try Gratitude and Impove your Life

Would you like to improve your life? Try gratitude, it is one of the most powerful tools that I know. Gratitude has empowered me to appreciate everyone in my life more, grow in my profession and improve my well-being.

In addition, gratitude as a practice, is a call to action to be a caring individual, cultivates clarity of mind, moves us away from wants and worries, builds our capacity for forgiveness, grows generosity, and helps us respond to difficult situations constructively and with resilience.

Gratitude Journal

To get started with gratitude, you can choose from a number of gratitude activities at the Greater Good Science Center’s website, https://ggia.berkeley.edu/#filters=gratitude. An effective and research-based method is a gratitude journal. You could start your gratitude journal with being thankful for being alive, for having food to eat and clothes to wear. If you can think about someone you're grateful for, that's even more powerful, as gratitude can strengthen and improve our relationships. Here is an example you may use:

Thanks for ___________________________ because__________________________.

The more specific and the deeper we dive into this activity, the more powerful it will be. For example, instead of writing, “Thanks for lunch,” you could write, “Thanks for lunch because the tomatoes and lettuce in my salad  were delicious and for the cool, sweet iced tea on this hot day, as well as time with friends.”

You can also use a gratitude app on your smart phone. Here is a link to 9 possible gratitude apps: https://www.happierhuman.com/gratitude-app/

Exercising the Gratitude Muscle

Gratitude seems to work like a muscle and writing a gratitude list helps develop our gratitude muscles. Professor Philip Watkins of Eastern Washington University says that those who are the least grateful seem to gain the most from making this effort. That’s good news to those us who may find it hard to start a gratitude list.

Visible Change

Recent research by two leaders in the field of gratitude and education, Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr. Jeffrey Froh, supports the idea that gratitude improves the lives of  adults and students. They have found several benefits for students and adults.

Keeping a gratitude journal enables both students and adults to be more optimistic, experience more social satisfaction, exercise more often, have less envy and depression, have fewer physical complaints, grow in resilience and sleep better.

Keeping a gratitude journal on a daily basis helps students achieve higher grades; higher goals; more satisfaction with relationships, life, and school; less materialism; and more willingness to give back.

Tapping into the Potential of Gratitude

I challenge you to try it yourself and see how it works. My friends who have written a daily gratitude journal for at least two weeks speak positively of the experience. Gratitude has transformed many lives. What we focus on in life grows and our focus on gratitude can stimulate new positive growth. For me, the fruits of the focus on gratitude are happiness and well-being. Finally, check out Gratefulness.org for extra gratitude resources.

Research

·        Jeffrey J. Froh, William J. Sefick, Robert A. Emmons, Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being, Journal of School Psychology 46 (2008), pp.213-233 (PDF, 410KB).

·        Jeffrey J. Froh, Robert A. Emmons, Noel A. Card, Giacomo Bono, Jennifer A. Wilson, Gratitude and the Reduced Costs of Materialism in Adolescents, Journal of Happiness Studies, Volume 12, No. 2, 2011 (PDF, 356KB).

·        Robert Emmons, How Gratitude Can Get You Through Hard Times, Greater Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life, May 13, 2013.

Gratitude: A Way of Teaching is available now in Spanish: Gratitud y Educacion

My book, Gratitude: A Way of Teaching, was just translated and published in Spanish. The title is Gratitud y Educacion and here is the link to the book on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/8427726902/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1

My eCourse is now free-This is a great way to stay Grateful through COVID19

Gratefulness.org is now offering my five-session eCourse for free for everyone. This is a perfect way to keep energized through this time of COVID19 and interject some gratitude into your life and the lives of those around you!

This eCourse will include practical, research-based activities and a new gratitude curriculum shared by educator and author, Owen Griffith. Owen’s book, Gratitude: A Way of Teaching, will offer structure to help guide the course as we create opportunities for educators to explore gratitude as a way to improve class culture; academic and social success for students; and resilience and satisfaction in students and educators alike. These are tense and challenging times with COVID19 affecting us all in new ways daily! The safety of our kids and ourselves is imperative and having tools that uplifts and strengthens what is going right is essential. Gratitude has a role to play in building resilience and reducing stress, especially during these extremely challenges times. So, join our class and take action now to improve your life. Here is the link, eCourse and comments.

Gratitude: A Way of Teaching should be required reading for teachers, administrators, parents, and anyone else who has a stake in our children’s future. You will be challenged, edified, and stirred to take a fresh look at this timeless virtue and see why we owe our children the gift of gratitude.

~ Robert A. Emmons, Editor-in-Chief, The Journal of Positive Psychology; author of Gratitude Works! and Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier

In a time of tests, accountability, and burnout, Gratitude: A Way of Teaching beautifully encourages teachers and students to connect to their own and each other’s humanity by stopping for a moment and asking, “What is wonderful about life?”

~ Vicki Zakrzewski, PhD, Education Director, Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley

In Gratitude: A Way of Teaching, Owen M. Griffith does a superb job at giving teachers practical strategies for making their students grateful. Following these strategies, and with patience and persistence, we can significantly influence the children in our own personal worlds. And, if we do, that will influence programs, clubs, schools, and other institutions in the community, too….Our society needs this more than ever. 

~ Jeffrey J. Froh, Associate Professor, Hoffstra University and co-author of Making Grateful Kids: The Science of Building Character

In a very practical way, Owen M. Griffith shows us how gratitude can be incorporated into the schools. Filled with inspiring examples and many practical suggestions, Gratitude: A Way of Teaching can be used to improve the gratitude of students in your classroom, and perhaps more importantly, it should help teachers generate a more grateful attitude toward their students.

~ Philip Watkins, Professor of Psychology, Eastern Washington University

Gratitude Can Rewire Your Brain.

I am so excited, I found a compelling and powerful article about how "Gratitude Can Rewire Your Brain." So, please read it when you get a chance and keep practicing gratitude and reaping the benefits!

https://fee.org/articles/how-gratitude-can-rewire-your-brain-for-happiness-and-success/