How to Be Happier for 2021

         How to Be Happier

1.       DO NOT FOCUS ON GOALS.
Even though you may intellectually reject the idea that happiness can be achieved or bought, you must be constantly vigilant against that internal voice that whispers, “But I would be a bit happier if only ...” One strategy to try is to reflect on those times when you were convinced that a certain accomplishment or possession would bring greater happiness, yet your life was not significantly different after you reached your goal. How many times have you had this experience? How many more are needed to finally convince you that it does not work that way?

2.       MAKE TIME TO VOLUNTEER.
People who volunteer to help those in need tend to report being happier. Perhaps it is because working with those less fortunate makes you grateful for what you have. Also, volunteering often brings satisfaction and self-esteem, because you feel engaged in worthwhile work and are appreciated by those you serve. Do not compare yourself with others who seem better off than you are, because that usually results in dissatisfaction.

3.       PRACTICE MODERATION.
If you grow too accustomed to pleasurable things, they will no longer bring you happiness. For example, you may enjoy two or three short vacations more than one long one. And you will enjoy your favorite meal more if you reserve it for a special occasion.

4.       STRIVE FOR CONTENTMENT.
Rethink your beliefs about the nature of happiness. Experiences of great pleasure or joy stand out in memory, and it is easy to conclude that being truly happy means being in that state most or all of the time. The very reason you savor and remember such an experience, however, is because it is not the norm. Instead of equating happiness with peak experiences, you would do better to think of happiness as a state of contentment and relative lack of anxiety or regret.

5.       PRACTICE LIVING IN THE MOMENT.
Start small by focusing on your sensory experience while engaged in a routine task. Over time, spend less energy thinking about the past or the future.

--Originally published: Scientific American MIND 18( 1); 36-43 (February/ March 2007).

Updated Blog-Try Gratitude and Impove your Life

Would you like to improve your life? Try gratitude, it is one of the most powerful tools that I know. Gratitude has empowered me to appreciate everyone in my life more, grow in my profession and improve my well-being.

In addition, gratitude as a practice, is a call to action to be a caring individual, cultivates clarity of mind, moves us away from wants and worries, builds our capacity for forgiveness, grows generosity, and helps us respond to difficult situations constructively and with resilience.

Gratitude Journal

To get started with gratitude, you can choose from a number of gratitude activities at the Greater Good Science Center’s website, https://ggia.berkeley.edu/#filters=gratitude. An effective and research-based method is a gratitude journal. You could start your gratitude journal with being thankful for being alive, for having food to eat and clothes to wear. If you can think about someone you're grateful for, that's even more powerful, as gratitude can strengthen and improve our relationships. Here is an example you may use:

Thanks for ___________________________ because__________________________.

The more specific and the deeper we dive into this activity, the more powerful it will be. For example, instead of writing, “Thanks for lunch,” you could write, “Thanks for lunch because the tomatoes and lettuce in my salad  were delicious and for the cool, sweet iced tea on this hot day, as well as time with friends.”

You can also use a gratitude app on your smart phone. Here is a link to 9 possible gratitude apps: https://www.happierhuman.com/gratitude-app/

Exercising the Gratitude Muscle

Gratitude seems to work like a muscle and writing a gratitude list helps develop our gratitude muscles. Professor Philip Watkins of Eastern Washington University says that those who are the least grateful seem to gain the most from making this effort. That’s good news to those us who may find it hard to start a gratitude list.

Visible Change

Recent research by two leaders in the field of gratitude and education, Dr. Robert Emmons and Dr. Jeffrey Froh, supports the idea that gratitude improves the lives of  adults and students. They have found several benefits for students and adults.

Keeping a gratitude journal enables both students and adults to be more optimistic, experience more social satisfaction, exercise more often, have less envy and depression, have fewer physical complaints, grow in resilience and sleep better.

Keeping a gratitude journal on a daily basis helps students achieve higher grades; higher goals; more satisfaction with relationships, life, and school; less materialism; and more willingness to give back.

Tapping into the Potential of Gratitude

I challenge you to try it yourself and see how it works. My friends who have written a daily gratitude journal for at least two weeks speak positively of the experience. Gratitude has transformed many lives. What we focus on in life grows and our focus on gratitude can stimulate new positive growth. For me, the fruits of the focus on gratitude are happiness and well-being. Finally, check out Gratefulness.org for extra gratitude resources.

Research

·        Jeffrey J. Froh, William J. Sefick, Robert A. Emmons, Counting blessings in early adolescents: An experimental study of gratitude and subjective well-being, Journal of School Psychology 46 (2008), pp.213-233 (PDF, 410KB).

·        Jeffrey J. Froh, Robert A. Emmons, Noel A. Card, Giacomo Bono, Jennifer A. Wilson, Gratitude and the Reduced Costs of Materialism in Adolescents, Journal of Happiness Studies, Volume 12, No. 2, 2011 (PDF, 356KB).

·        Robert Emmons, How Gratitude Can Get You Through Hard Times, Greater Good: The Science of a Meaningful Life, May 13, 2013.