Seven Tips for Staying Out of Survival Mode

How do people get in survival mode? Well, life is demanding. With all the responsibilities and demands on our time and energy, it is easy to feel like you do not have any energy left for anyone including yourself.

People in survival mode are just barely getting by day-to-day. We do the minimum because we do not feel like they have the energy to do more. There seems to be no joy and not much gratitude, light or laughter in our lives. As a teacher, when I am in survival mode, not only do I affect myself but my 28 students. 

We all get run down and slip into survival mode sometimes. If you are going through a major change, like having a baby, or if you are sick or have a major family crisis, you may enter survival mode. That is OK. But, it is not OK to stay there. The next question is, “How do you we get out of survival mode?” 

When we are in survival mode, we may look at our life and try to make new priorities, taking care of ourselves in new ways. Here are some tips to change:

1.  Try New Experiences/ Welcome Mistakes as Learning Experiences

Don’t let yourself get caught in a rut. Survival mode is one of the worst ruts of all. The only difference between a rut and a grave is how deep it is. Make opportunities to be spontaneous, adventurous and playful every day. My 6 year old and my 4^th grade students give me lessons in this daily. Get out of your comfort zone. Remember that the worst that can happen is that you will make a new mistake instead of repeating the same one that didn't work for you in the past.
Don’t listen to the lie that you don’t have enough time or energy. New experiences create energy and allow us more time for everything. I know myself how can be paralyzing and I fight it daily. I keep in mind what a wise boss told me, “I know you are not trying new things because you aren't making mistakes.” Fearlessly try new things and learn from those mistakes as you grow out of survival mode.

2.  Be Aware of Your Internal Dialogue

Listen to what you are saying to yourself.  Some of that internal dialogue may be keeping you stuck. You may have a tape recording going on in your head you are not even aware of, like “You will never find someone to love you” or “You are not good looking enough” or “You can’t make anything work in your life.” Maybe you have even convinced yourselves that you need to stay in survival mode for some reason. First, be aware of these negative messages, and then start to say the opposite to yourself, like “I am a beautiful child of God” or “I will keep working on myself and love will become abundant in my life,” or “I will make a difference in someone else’s life today and improve myself.” Start writing your own script for your future.

3.  Practice Gratitude 

Survival mode blocks us from seeing all the positive things in our lives. Cultivate an awareness the many gifts in your life. If you are reading this, you are fortunate to have a computer, a connection to the internet and the ability to read.  Realize that a vast majority of the population of the planet would change places with you in an instant. 

Start a gratitude list to increase your awareness of the things in your life that are going right. Let yourself be surprised by the good things that were there but just out of view. What we focus on in life contributes to how we feel about ourselves and life. Thus, focus on all that you have and watch it all grow. Take more action; write a gratitude letter to someone who has helped you. Deliver it in person and let that person know how much they mean to you and feel yourself growing out of survival mode.

4.  Exercise/Get into Nature/Try Yoga

Exercise helps generate positive neurotransmitters that can help catapult you out of survival mode. Recent studies have shown that when someone is in nature, positive neurotransmitters are released in the brain. Interestingly, in a prison in Oregon, they painted a realistic mural of a forest on the exercise yard wall and noticed that the violence among prisoners went down dramatically. Get into nature, try yoga or find something that you enjoy and find someone to do it with for support. Survival mode is a form of a prison, so bring some real nature or exercise into your life and feel the positive effects. I love to ride my mountain bike and find it always get me out of whatever rut I may have fallen into.

5.  Help Others/Give of Yourself

When you help others in big and small ways, you are helping yourself get out of survival mode. You can feel the profound joy of giving freely with no expectations. It all comes back to you in countless ways. Altruistic giving has been shown to increase positive neurotransmitters in the giver, receiver and anyone observing the act of giving. People who volunteer or care for others consistently are happier and less depressed. So, give to someone close to you and also practice those random acts of kindness. A simple suggestion is to tell someone you love how much you love them and why you treasure them in your life. Do someone a good turn today and don’t get found out. 

6.  Be in the Moment/Embrace Silence

All we have is this moment, but much of the time we waste it by ruminating over the past or stressing over the future. This keeps us in survival mode. We can cultivate mindfulness by giving attention to whatever we are doing. When you feel your mind wandering, take a deep breath and gently bring it back to the moment. If you are washing the dishes, be present washing the dishes and enjoy the warm water and the slick feel of soap. More importantly, be present to those around you by really listening. To get a better perspective on life, take time to sit quietly every day without electronic distractions. Even just a few moments of pure silence can refresh a stressed soul

7.  Forgive/ Let Go of the Past/ Be Responsible for Yourself

Harboring resentment only hurts you and keeps you stuck in survival mode. I like the saying that resentments are like stray cats: if you don’t feed them, they go away. Don’t let others rent free space in your head. Forgive and let go.  If you let go a little, you get a little relief.  If you let go a lot, you get a lot of relief, and if you let go completely, you are FREE.

Don’t blame others for things lacking in your life. Don’t give them that power. Take responsibility and take action and help yourself get out of survival mode. We are not victims, we are volunteers. I tell my students we control 3 things and they all start with the letter A: attitude, action and awareness. Let go of those things you do not control. Blaming others and harboring self-pity steals your energy and joy. Be the change you want to see in your world. 


Finally, the list may seem daunting but you don’t have to change everything at once. To get started, choose the easiest of these tips for you and see how you can get unstuck from whatever is holding you back in life. Then go to the next step until you feel back in control. One mistake is not a failure but a step to learning. You can do this.