Memo from our Children/Students

When I was visiting my Mom, she gave me an old Girl Scouts Calendar from the 1980s.  I looked over it quickly, not expecting to find anything, but came across the following powerful and useful memo from our children/students:

Memo from our Children/Students

“In this adult world of ours, we sometimes grow impatient over the struggles of our children to make themselves understood.  If we don’t take the time and every opportunity to listen to what a child really has on his or her mind, we can completely miss our calling as parents and teachers.  If our children could put their needs into words, these are some of the memos they might send us. 

PLEASE:

1.      Don’t protect me from my consequences.  I need to learn the painful way sometimes.

2.      Don’t be too upset when I say, ‘I hate you.”  It isn’t you I hate, it is your power to thwart me that I hate.

3.      Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it.  I’ll take more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

4.      Don’t put me off when I ask a question or I will stop asking them and seek answers elsewhere.

5.      Don’t take too much notice of my small ailments.  Sometimes they get me the attention I need.

6.      Don’t spoil me.  I know quite well that I should not have all that I ask for.  I’m only testing you.

7.      Don’t be afraid to be firm with me.  I prefer it.  It makes me feel more secure.

8.      Don’t let me form bad habits.  I have to rely on you to detect them in their early stages.

9.      Don’t make me feel smaller than I am.  It only makes me behave stupidly “big.”

10.  Don’t nag.  If you do, I will have to protect myself by appearing deaf.

11.  Don’t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like.  This is why I am not always accurate.

12.  Don’t make rash promises.  Remember that I feel very let down when promises are broken.

13.  Don’t tax my honesty too much.  I am easily frightened into lying sometimes.

14.  Don’t be inconsistent.  That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

15.  Don’t tell me my fears are silly.  They are extremely real and you can help reassure me if you try to listen and understand.

16.  Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect because it will disappoint me when I find you are not.

17.  Don’t think it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me.  An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm to you.

18.  Don’t forget how quickly I am growing up, so be present for me as much as possible. 

19.  Don’t forget I love experimenting.  I wouldn't grow without it, so please encourage it.

20.  Don’t forget that I will not thrive without lots of understanding love.  But I don’t need to tell you that, do I?”

I would update #18 and add-“Please put down the cell phone and get off the internet because you are missing so much of my life.”  Recently, at a local park with my son, I saw another boy had just conquered the climbing wall and was pleading to his Dad to watch him, but his Dad would not take his eyes off his cell phone.  The Dad said, “I see you.”  But the boy looked at him with great disappointment when the Dad could not take his eyes off his phone.

      Here is something else from the calendar that I enjoyed and wanted to share:

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

by Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

With what is your child living?

I was interviewed on a Podcast

Recently, I was contacted by a podcast, The Teachers’ Lounge Show, and asked if I would give an interview about utilizing gratitude in the classroom.  I did the interview and it has been posted on iTunes under The Teachers’ Lounge Show.  I would recommend the show.  It has some great episodes that cover just about every topic in education.  You may also access it by clicking on one of the links below:

http://ec.libsyn.com/p/e/6/4/e64ea1e093affeb6/TL-Gratitude.m4a?d13a76d516d9dec20c3d276ce028ed5089ab1ce3dae902ea1d06c98730d0cd5f84c3&c_id=7619521

http://teachersloungeshow.blogspot.com/2014/09/how-to-change-your-classroom-and.html

It was fun to go through the interview process and contemplate some of the ideas I have been writing about.  Thanks again for all the support.

Here is a fun quote to end the blog:

Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional, growing spiritually is up to me.-Anonymous

Gratitude Ideas for Your Classroom, Your Family and You

As the new school year gets rolling, I am looking for new ways to teach and learn about gratitude.  One idea that I will implement this year is the idea of writing a “Gratitude Letter.”  In his research, Dr. Martin Seligman found that people who wrote a “Gratitude Letter” and delivered it experienced more joy, hopefulness and less depression for over a month.  He says the letter should be to someone who helped us, but we were never able to express our thanks to them.  Try to deliver the letter in person and experience the gift of giving gratitude.

Another idea from a student is to do a quick gratitude list at a red light.  This student figured out that his mom would always hit at least one red light in the way to school and the way home, so this would be a perfect opportunity to do a gratitude list with whoever was in the car.  I love that idea and I try to remember to do that at the red lights in my life.

The following article has creative gratitude ideas and is from a powerful web site, http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/

“Help students cultivate an attitude of gratitude.  Research shows that it’s really good for both them and their teachers!

Among other benefits, gratitude helps kids feel better about school and makes educators feel less emotionally exhausted.

Need some ideas on how to bring gratitude into the classroom? Here are some easy-to-implement activities, many of which can be adapted to fit any grade level.

·         Classroom Gratitude Book. Create a gratitude book to send home with a different child each week. Ask each student’s family to add a page of pictures and descriptions of what they’re grateful for. At the end of the year, be sure to celebrate your completed classroom gratitude book!

·         Gratitude Photos. Have each student write what he or she is thankful for on a large piece of paper and then take a picture of the child holding up his or her paper. Frame the photo and send it home as a holiday gift.

·         Gratitude Collage or Bulletin Board. Have children cut out pictures of things they’re grateful for and then use the pictures to create their own collage or to decorate a classroom gratitude bulletin board.

·         Gratitude Paper Chain. Have children write what they’re thankful for on strips of paper and use the strips to make a gratitude chain to hang up in the classroom.

·         Gratitude Pairs. Hold a “Special Friends Day” one or two days before Thanksgiving. Ask each student to invite a special person to class for a 45-minute period, such as a grandparent, nanny, neighbor, parent from another classroom, or family friend. Have each pair write and/or draw something they’re thankful for and post it on a bulletin board. Note: Scheduling this activity close to the holiday increases the likelihood of out-of-towners being able to attend.

·         Gratitude Spies. Play the “Spying for Gratitude” game. At the beginning of the day, have each child choose the name of another student out of a hat without revealing the name. Each student spends the day “spying” on his or her chosen person and then shares one thing that he or she is grateful for about that person during an end-of-the-day circle.

·         Gratitude Quilt. Give each child a 5”x5” blank piece of paper on which to draw something he or she is thankful for. Mount each square on a 6”x6” colored piece of paper and then piece the squares together to create a classroom gratitude quilt.

·         Gratitude Graph. Have each child write one thing that he or she is grateful for on a sticky note and then plot it on a classroom gratitude graph. Categories might include people, things, places, actions, animals, etc.

·         Gratitude Circle. Begin or end the day sitting in a circle with each person sharing one thing that he or she is grateful for and why. Note: Younger students will need a lot of modeling to explain why they’re grateful for something.

·         Gratitude Surprise Sticky Notes. Give each student one or more sticky notes to write something they’re grateful for about another person in the school community. Then have the students “deliver” the sticky notes by placing them where the person will see it, e.g., a locker, a phone, a cleaning cart.

·         Gratitude Letters for the Community. Write letters of gratitude and deliver them to people in the greater school community, e.g., janitor, food staff, school administration. Expand this exercise to include the local community, such as police, fire station, bank, grocery store, hospital, electricians, etc.

·         Gratitude Quotes. Give students their own gratitude quote and have them reflect upon and write about what their quote means to them.

·         Gratitude Discussions. Use gratitude researchers Jeffrey Froh and Giacomo Bono’s gratitude curriculum to deepen students’ understanding of gratitude. Have students think of something they’re grateful for and then re-frame it as a gift. Then ask students to 1) notice that someone saw they had a need and acted upon it; 2) appreciate the cost incurred by the person extending the gift; and 3) recognize the personal value of the gift they received.

·         Gratitude Research and Action. Share and discuss with your students the research that shows the tremendous benefits of practicing gratitude. Ask students to come up with ways they might incorporate more gratitude into their lives. After hearing about the research on gratitude from their teacher, one group of 8th graders from a high-needs school took it upon themselves to form “The Breakfast Club”—a secret club dedicated to performing kind acts for the school staff. After several months of clandestinely delivering Starbucks coffees (donated by Starbucks), pizzas, and other fun treats, the Breakfast Club members revealed their identities at a school assembly—and were hailed with loud roars and cheers!”

After reading this article, I am going to have the students make a gratitude book this year.  That is something anyone could do with their family.  So, try a new activity with your class, your family, by yourself or with friends and experience the power of gratitude.

Quotes to end the blog:

The purpose of learning is growth, and our minds, unlike our bodies, can continue growing as we continue to live.  ~Mortimer Adler

 “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” –Margaret Mead

Spirituality of Storytelling-Part 2

In my last blog, I wrote about the power of stories to teach and communicate profound life lessons.  Stories often express the “Language of the heart.”  Here are a couple more stories to piggy-back on my blog from last week.  Feel free to share any of your stories with us, in the comment section or email them to me, if you want to stay more private.

Story #2-The Deluxe Electric Nose Hair Trimmer

Here is a humorous story I tell my students that happened to me in my first year of teaching.  When I was teaching simple machines, I was putting together a PowerPoint and wanted to spice it up to grab the 7^th grader’s attention.  On one slide, I showed how simple machines may be put together to make a complex machine.  When contemplating what complex machines to show, I thought an Army tank would be a good example.  But, for another example, I remembered seeing a “Deluxe Electric Nose-Hair Trimmer” in a store and thought it was funny, maybe a little crude, but they would appreciate the joke.  Sure enough, when I ran that slide and gave those two examples, I got everyone’s attention.  It was a few weeks before Christmas, so I added, “Make sure you put an electric nose-hair trimmer on your Christmas list.”  The students all remembered complex machines from my example.

Then, the day before Christmas break, one of my quiet students, a student who really hadn’t said a word to me all year, walks into my class with his mom.  She is holding a big gift bag and says, “Mr. Griffith, thank you so much for teaching my son.  You are his favorite teacher and he is learning so much about science from you.”  I took the gift and thanked her and her son.  When I got home, I went into the house to open it.  My wife was home and helped me unwrap the gift.  In the box was a deluxe electric nose-hair trimmer.  I was surprised and laughed at the gift.  I told my wife, “He listened to me and got the joke.”  My wife said, “Or maybe you should take the hint.”  Regardless, it was hilarious and the student opened up after that in my class.  This comical incident enabled him to become a vital part of the class and helped me remember the power of not taking myself so seriously.

Story #3-The Magic Touchstone

Once upon a time, when the ancient library in Alexandria was burned to the ground, one of the men cleaning up the debris found a book that was charred but still mostly intact called, “The Magic Touchstone.”  In this book, a map was drawn showing the way to get the beach in Greece where the “magic touchstone” was located.  On a beach with millions of stones that all looked identical, one stone held the magical power that would enable the person who held it to have all their dreams come true.  The only way to distinguish the “magic touchstone” was to hold it in your hand because the magic touchstone would become warm when held.

So, the man sold everything he had and traveled to the beach.  When he arrived, he saw millions of the stones and he crafted a plan.  He would start at the very end of the beach and pick the stones one by one, hold it in his hand and if it did not get warm, he would know it wasn't the “magic touchstone” and he would throw it into the ocean.  He started and made slow progress.  Day by day, month by month and year by year, he worked his way down the beach, picking up stones and then throwing them in the ocean when they didn't warm up.  He barely ate or slept as the years passed.  Then, after 40 years and after throwing millions of stones in the ocean, one day, he reached past his long grey beard and picked up a stone, placed it in his hand and it actually did get warm. 

At this point in the story I stop and I ask the students, “What did he do with the stone?”  Usually, a student gets it, he threw the stone into the ocean because he had been doing that for 40 years and it was ingrained into him. 

We talk about this story, how we can get into the same kind of rut.  Any day could be the day when the magic touchstone is put into our hands in so many ways and unless we are present and aware of what we are doing, we will throw it away.

So, those are a couple stories.  I have a list of them and I add to them every year.  As my life progresses, these stories help it become more deep and rich.  I will share more stories later.

Here are a few quotes to end the blog:

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.  ~Chinese Proverb


All the world is a laboratory to the inquiring mind.  ~Martin H. Fischer

You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives.  ~Clay P. Bedford