Happy New Year!

As we approach the New Year, I am taking time to reflect on the past year and look forward to 2015. I know that this time of year, many of us make New Year’s resolutions. This can be a positive exercise to focus on areas of our life we would like to improve and make a new start. Many of us have tried this in the past and have not been successful. It is easy to quickly give up on these resolutions when they don’t come easy and we haven’t made an action plan.

I have made resolutions, sometimes more successfully than others, and I actually do this with my 4^th graders. We have developed an action plan that helps us. First we take time to reflect on 6 areas we may want to change:

1. Spiritual
2. Family
3. Professional (for 4^th graders-Education)
4. Physical and Health
5. Fun
6. Financial (4^th graders set goals in 3 areas for money: 1. To save, 2. To give, 3. To spend)

We choose one or two areas to work on. Then, we write actions to take to make these resolutions come true. Next, we pick a partner, a friend or family member, that we can check in with daily at the beginning and then weekly and monthly to see how we are doing and stay accountable. We put the resolutions as goals on a piece of paper and put it somewhere we see it often, like on our refrigerator, in our lockers or on our desks. Finally, we check in every month to see how we are doing on reaching these goals. Looking long term, we even write a letter to ourselves to be opened at the end of the school year, restating the goals and giving encouragement to keep trying if we haven’t achieved these goals yet.

There are many reasons for giving up on these goals, like we may feel we don’t have the time and energy. But, remember that they can be very small goals, like a spiritual goal could be to do a verbal gratitude list at one red light we stop at each day. If we make a reminder to put in our car, or make someone we drive with our partner in the goal, it makes it easier to do. Some of my students and friends have done this and say that it can really help add something positive to a stressful commute. It is interesting, for 4^th graders, most goals are things like: making new friends, getting better grades, or being kinder to siblings. Those are great goals.

Once, someone asked why we have to make these resolutions formal, why not just try to be more loving or get in better shape physically? I like both ideas. But, I know that for me, that doesn't seem to work as well. It is easy to lose those goals in our busy lives if we don’t write them down, make a simple action plan, or check our progress.

Resolutions do not need to be too big or overwhelming and I would recommend choosing one or two to start with. One year, my goal was to wake up 10 minutes early to spend doing yoga, praying and meditating. This one was easy to keep because I found that it helped me get through the day with a smile. I expanded on that and now wake up 30 minutes early and actually look forward to starting the day that way.

Another year, the goal was even smaller, but just as important. When I got in my car, before I turned the ignition, I would take a few deep breaths and just try to get into the present moment.This really helped, but I kept forgetting to do it in my busy day. So, here I readjusted my action plan and put a reminder in my car on my speedometer. That helped and I enjoyed a new peace interjected into my busy and hectic days.

Sometimes, our goals surpass what we envision. Since I was eighteen years old, I have played guitar. But, I was self-taught and I wanted to learn to play better. So, ten years ago, I made a goal to learn to play guitar better and take formal lessons. My action plan was to visit some local music stores and find a guitar teacher, then spend 30 minutes a day practicing, I did that and now I actually teach guitar and started a after-school music program at my school. Even more astonishing, this past few year, with my dear friend Erik, we performed as a guitar duo twice around Atlanta and had a blast. We have a new gig coming up in February and as we jammed to get ready for it, we both realized how we have grown as musicians and friends, far surpassing my initial goal.

Other times, our goals and resolutions are not met or come more slowly. Here, we should not beat ourselves up, but refocus, adjust the goals and keep trying. If it isn't that important any more, let it go and move on to other things. Celebrate the little victories and look for progress, not perfection. You can do this. Have a fantastic year in 2015!

Spirituality of Storytelling-Part 3

First of all, Happy Holidays to everyone. This time of year can be crazy, but try to enjoy this time of year and find something to be grateful for.

As the end of the year quickly approaches, I have been reflecting on this year and it has been a fantastic year with so much growth. One of the biggest parts of growth this year has been writing this blog. I started in May and I have really enjoyed posting and getting comments. Many conversations have started here that I have learned from and still enjoy immensely. I thought this would be a lot of work, but it has been a pleasure. Thank you for all support and encouragement.

One interesting thing for me was to look at all the things I have posted this year and see how often posts are viewed. The one post that was visited much more than the others was my post on Storytelling is Spiritual #1, where I wrote about my favorite story to tell the students,“The House Builder.” If you haven’t read that, go back and check it out, it is short yet powerful.

As I reflected on that story, I thought about the second favorite story to tell the students, along the same lines of the “The House Builder” called “The Cocoon.” These stories hold special power and I save them for Friday afternoons in our classroom. The students are always riveted. When teaching, I look up and often find about half the class looking at me, but when I tell these stories, every student is looking at me intently. There is power in these stories on so many levels. So, here is the story:

“The Cocoon”

"As a woman was walking down the street, she noticed a little white circular object on the sidewalk. She stopped to inspect it and found it was a cocoon. Holding it gently, she could see the little butterfly vigorously trying to get out. This excited her and she suddenly realized that she could help this butterfly gain its freedom. So, she pulled out some nail clippers she had in her purse. Carefully and meticulous, she made a very precise incision around the outside of the chrysalis. Then, she gently laid it down and stood back, ready to see the butterfly get out of the cocoon and happily fly away. Sure enough, the next time the butterfly moved its wings, the cocoon opened and the woman saw a spectacular yellow tiger swallowtail butterfly. She couldn’t help but smile as she gazed at this creature she had just helped gain its freedom.

However, when it tried to fly away, it couldn’t get off the ground. A couple times, it flipped on its back and the woman tried to flip it back over, hoping it would get air born soon. But, after about 10 minutes, it stopped moving and died. The woman was crushed. She had been trying to help, but now felt she had somehow killed the butterfly. Picking up the creature, she went home quickly and called her friend who was a biologist. Relating the story, she asked, “Did I kill it?” He replied that yes, she had killed it inadvertently by letting it out of its cocoon too soon. He went on to say that butterflies need to strengthen their wings fully in the effort to break out of the cocoon. Also, in the process of working their way out of the cocoon, they are getting the needed blood supply to their wings to enable them to fly and survive. This made her feel a little better as she understood her part in the process."

I ask the students what this story means. One student said that it means you should not mess with nature or try to speed up the natural flow of life. I like that. Others say that we grow strong from the struggles in life. I like that even more. I go on to tell the students that as a teacher, I am not helping them by letting them out of their cocoons too soon. For example, if they are struggling with a new concept in math and ask for an answer to a problem, it would be easy for me to give it to them. Instead, I need to let them struggle and help their wings get stronger. In our classroom, we even use those words, “I can’t do that because that would be like letting you out of your cocoon too early.”

Personally, I know sometimes I still want someone to come let me out of my cocoon when I am fighting to break free of some problem in life. But, I know that many times my “wings” need to get stronger. When I reflect on the struggle, I often ask, "'What should I be learning here?" Maybe the lesson is to be more patient or persistent. Sometimes, I need to remember that life doesn't always have to get easier. Often, I just need to keep growing stronger. If I focus on the lesson I am learning in life, I don’t need to have someone come and set me free, I am already free.

Humorous Christmas Quote:

“There are four ages of man:

(1) When you believe in Santa Claus.

(2) When you don't believe in Santa Claus.

(3) When you are Santa Claus.

(4) When you look like Santa Claus.”

- Unknown

Two Inspirational Poems

Here are two inspirational poems that have helped me tremendously. They encapsulate many of the spiritual tools that enable us to solve our problems.

The Good Things

    If you spend your time thinking about all the things that are wrong
with your life, you'll likely create even more of them. Why would you
want to do that?

   Instead, keep more of your thoughts focused on all the things that
are right with your life. Your attention to those good things in life
will make them stronger and more plentiful.

   What do you enjoy most about the person you are? What gives you a
true and abiding sense of satisfaction? What things do you do that cause
you to know you've made a positive difference in the world? Sincerely
answer these questions, and you cannot help but focus on what is right
with your life.

  Define yourself not by what's wrong, but by what's going right for
you.  Count your many blessings, and you'll be blessed with many more.

  Begin each day reminding yourself of all the things that are right
with your life. And at the end of the day, you'll find even more.

-- Ralph Marston

Do not let your life slip through your fingers
By living in the past nor for the future.

By living your life one day at a time,
You live all the days of your life.

Do not give up
When you still have something to give.

Nothing is really over
Until the moment you stop trying. 

It is a fragile thread
That binds us to each other

Do not be afraid to be willing to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances
That we learn to be grow spiritually.

Do not shut love out of your life
By saying it is impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love;
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly. 

The best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Do not dismiss your dreams.

To be without dreams is to be without hope,
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do not run through life
So fast that you forget
Not only where you have been
But also where you are going. 

Life is not a race but a journey, a spiritual journey,
To be savored each step of the way.
-Anonymous