Happy New Year!

As we approach the New Year, I am taking time to reflect on the past year and look forward to 2015. I know that this time of year, many of us make New Year’s resolutions. This can be a positive exercise to focus on areas of our life we would like to improve and make a new start. Many of us have tried this in the past and have not been successful. It is easy to quickly give up on these resolutions when they don’t come easy and we haven’t made an action plan.

I have made resolutions, sometimes more successfully than others, and I actually do this with my 4^th graders. We have developed an action plan that helps us. First we take time to reflect on 6 areas we may want to change:

1. Spiritual
2. Family
3. Professional (for 4^th graders-Education)
4. Physical and Health
5. Fun
6. Financial (4^th graders set goals in 3 areas for money: 1. To save, 2. To give, 3. To spend)

We choose one or two areas to work on. Then, we write actions to take to make these resolutions come true. Next, we pick a partner, a friend or family member, that we can check in with daily at the beginning and then weekly and monthly to see how we are doing and stay accountable. We put the resolutions as goals on a piece of paper and put it somewhere we see it often, like on our refrigerator, in our lockers or on our desks. Finally, we check in every month to see how we are doing on reaching these goals. Looking long term, we even write a letter to ourselves to be opened at the end of the school year, restating the goals and giving encouragement to keep trying if we haven’t achieved these goals yet.

There are many reasons for giving up on these goals, like we may feel we don’t have the time and energy. But, remember that they can be very small goals, like a spiritual goal could be to do a verbal gratitude list at one red light we stop at each day. If we make a reminder to put in our car, or make someone we drive with our partner in the goal, it makes it easier to do. Some of my students and friends have done this and say that it can really help add something positive to a stressful commute. It is interesting, for 4^th graders, most goals are things like: making new friends, getting better grades, or being kinder to siblings. Those are great goals.

Once, someone asked why we have to make these resolutions formal, why not just try to be more loving or get in better shape physically? I like both ideas. But, I know that for me, that doesn't seem to work as well. It is easy to lose those goals in our busy lives if we don’t write them down, make a simple action plan, or check our progress.

Resolutions do not need to be too big or overwhelming and I would recommend choosing one or two to start with. One year, my goal was to wake up 10 minutes early to spend doing yoga, praying and meditating. This one was easy to keep because I found that it helped me get through the day with a smile. I expanded on that and now wake up 30 minutes early and actually look forward to starting the day that way.

Another year, the goal was even smaller, but just as important. When I got in my car, before I turned the ignition, I would take a few deep breaths and just try to get into the present moment.This really helped, but I kept forgetting to do it in my busy day. So, here I readjusted my action plan and put a reminder in my car on my speedometer. That helped and I enjoyed a new peace interjected into my busy and hectic days.

Sometimes, our goals surpass what we envision. Since I was eighteen years old, I have played guitar. But, I was self-taught and I wanted to learn to play better. So, ten years ago, I made a goal to learn to play guitar better and take formal lessons. My action plan was to visit some local music stores and find a guitar teacher, then spend 30 minutes a day practicing, I did that and now I actually teach guitar and started a after-school music program at my school. Even more astonishing, this past few year, with my dear friend Erik, we performed as a guitar duo twice around Atlanta and had a blast. We have a new gig coming up in February and as we jammed to get ready for it, we both realized how we have grown as musicians and friends, far surpassing my initial goal.

Other times, our goals and resolutions are not met or come more slowly. Here, we should not beat ourselves up, but refocus, adjust the goals and keep trying. If it isn't that important any more, let it go and move on to other things. Celebrate the little victories and look for progress, not perfection. You can do this. Have a fantastic year in 2015!