Well, we
are midway through summer and here is your chance for a spiritual tune-up. Personally, I try to spend a little time
every day to incorporate some spiritual tools in my life to stay spiritually
fit. Some days it works better than
others. But, when I am in a good place
spiritually, everything else in my life feels right.
A few
years ago, a friend gave me a copy of something called 9 Timeless
Secrets of Being Happy. I enjoyed it and
shared it with my students. But after I
went over it with my class, I realized that I should update it to include more
spiritual tools. So, I expanded it,
edited it and rewrote it to be more encompassing, not just addressing
happiness, but also encouraging us to develop serenity and a meaningful life.
Take a
little time to go over the following tips.
I give this list to my students at the beginning of each year. They
highlight 3 things to work on throughout the year. Then, they post it on their agendas or in their
lockers at school and on their refrigerators or mirrors at home where they see
it daily. This way, it is a gentle
reminder to keep working to stay spiritually fit.
So, here
are a dozen simple spiritual tools. Like
my students, please choose a few to focus on, print them out or put them on your
computer or iPhone and work on them until they become a habit. Celebrate the
little victories and the baby steps as you practice and enjoy the growth they
bring to your life. Real change is
challenging and a slow process, so be patient with yourself. Remember, a baby tries an estimated 2,000
times before it takes its first step.
1. Be a
Giver/Help Others
In big and small ways, help others as much as possible. Feel the profound joy of giving freely with
no expectations. It all comes back to
you in countless ways. People who
volunteer or care for others consistently are happier and less depressed.
Altruistic giving has been shown to increase positive
neurotransmitters in the giver, receiver and anyone observing the act of
giving. So, give to someone close to you and also practice those random acts of kindness.
A simple suggestion is to tell someone you love how much you love
them and why you treasure them in your life.
Do someone a good turn today and don’t get found out.
2. Savor
the Moment/ Be in the Moment
All I have is this moment, but much of the time I waste by ruminating
over the past or stressing over the future.
To live deeply in this moment and breath in the miracle of all that is
available now is truly living.
But, I must be present and be here now. Cultivate
mindfulness by giving attention to whatever you are doing. When you feel your mind wandering, take a deep
breath and gently bring it back to the moment.
If you are washing the dishes, be present washing the dishes and enjoy
the warm water and the slick feel of soap.
More importantly, be present to those around you by really listening.
3. Embrace
Silence
Take time to sit quietly every day without electronic
distractions in order to get a better perspective on life. Even just a few moments of pure silence can
refresh a stressed soul. Personally,
when I stopped the chatter of having the radio on constantly in the car and the
TV on constantly at home, I was able to feel a deeper peace and enjoy life much
more fully. Try to set a timer for 1
minute, read something inspirational, a prayer or a poem, and then sit
comfortably in silence for that 1 minute.
If you can do this daily for a week, increase the time to 2 minutes and so on,
up to 10 minutes. In the race to get
through each day, slow down and notice the deep peace in silence.
4. Try
New Experiences/ Don’t Be Afraid to Make Mistakes
Don’t let yourself get caught in a
rut. The only difference between a rut
and a grave is how deep it is. Stay out
of survival mode. Be spontaneous, adventurous
and play every day. My 5 year old gives
me lessons in this daily. Get out of
your comfort zone and remember you always have a safety net. Don’t listen to the lie that you don’t have
enough time or energy. New experiences create
energy and allow us to find more time for everything. In addition, I have found that perfectionism
paralyzed me. But, a wise boss once told
me, “I know you are not trying new things because you aren't making any
mistakes.” Fearlessly try new things and learn from
those mistakes.
5. Forgive/
Let Go of the Past
Harboring resentment only hurts you. I like the saying that resentments are like stray cats, if you don’t feed them, they go away.
Another great saying is that keeping resentments is like when I drink
poison thinking it will kill you. Don’t
let others rent free space in your head.
Forgive and let go. If you let go
a little, you get a little relief. If
you let go a lot, you get a lot of relief, and if you let go completely, you are
FREE.
6. Be
Responsible for Yourself
Don’t blame others for things lacking
in your life. Don’t give them that
power. Take responsibility and take
action. We are not victims, we are
volunteers. I tell my students we
control 3 things and they all start with the letter A: attitude, action and
awareness. Blaming others and harboring
self-pity steals our energy and joy. Be the change you want to see in the world. This works in and outside the classroom.
7. Build Relationships
People who have one or more close
relationships lead happier lives, according to a study by Dr. Martin
Seligman. Seligman goes on to say that
it doesn't matter how many relationships you have, one is enough. The important aspect of any relationship is
that you are supportive, you cooperate and you share personal feelings. These relationships can be with a friend or
family member. If you have even one
person who cares about you, you are truly blessed. If you don’t have anyone, build a new relationship
by really listening to someone and being helpful to them.
8. Be Grateful
Cultivate an awareness of all the
gifts given to us constantly. If you are
reading this, you are fortunate to have a computer, a connection to the
internet and the ability to read. Realize
that a vast majority of the population of the planet would change places
with you in an instant. Start a
gratitude list to increase your awareness of the gifts surrounding you. You are what you focus on. So, if you focus on what is missing, your
life becomes empty. Focus on all you
have on the inside and outside and watch it all grow. Take more action; write a gratitude letter to
someone who has helped you. Deliver it
in person and let that person know how much they mean to you.
9. Work Through
Fear
Fear holds us back from truly living our lives. You can generally unmask your fear by asking
two questions: 1. Are you afraid you are going to lose something you have? 2. Are
you afraid you won’t get something you want?
Once you are aware of the fear, then focus on some action you can take
to help. For example, if you are afraid
you won’t have enough money, do some research or reach out to others for ideas
about saving money or generating some income.
It is OK to feel the fear, but don’t allow it to paralyze you. Walk through the fear and feel it dissipate. Also, if you share a fear with someone you
trust, it feels like you cut it in half. There is power in just getting it out
of your head and letting it go. Writing
about it by keeping a journal can also help us keep perspective on fear. Here are some acronyms that help us
understand fear:
FEAR
= Failure Expected And Received, False Evidence Appearing Real, False
Expectations Appearing Real, Forget Everything And Run (Polite Version), Face
Everything And Recover, Frantic Effort to Appear Real, and my favorites-Forgetting
Everything’s All Right, and Fear Expressed Allows Relief.
10. Be Aware of Your
Internal Dialogue
Listen to what you are saying to yourself. So many of us have tape recordings going on
in our heads we are not even aware of, like “You will never find someone to
love you” or “You are not pretty enough” or “You can’t make anything work in
your life.” First, be aware of these
negative messages, and then start to say the opposite to yourself, like “I am a
beautiful child of God” or “ I will keep working on myself and love will become
abundant in my life,” or “I will make a difference in someone else’s life today
and improve myself.” Start writing your
own script for your future.
11. Quit Taking
It Personally (acronym - Q-TIP)
Don’t let anything people steal your
serenity. Most things aren't personal
and even when comments are made that are designed to hurt you, try to not take
it personally. If that person is really
trying to hurt you, don’t allow them to succeed. It is OK to create healthy boundaries, but
don’t waste extra time and energy by trying to extract an apology or get revenge. Remind yourself you don’t need
anyone’s approval. Learn to laugh at yourself and
let it go. Try to keep your ego small
enough that no comments can hit the target.
If you can become more immune to what others say, then you will not be
the victim of unnecessary suffering.
12. Choose
Kindness-Always
Be kind to yourself and others in all circumstances. One of the hardest things to do in this world
is to be kind when someone else is not kind to you. Today, look for a situation in your life when
you are presented with negativity and choose to give kindness. It may be in your family, at work or even
driving. Don’t be afraid to look into
the other person’s eyes, smile and respond in kindness. Feel the true strength in authentic
kindness. See how this makes you feel
and the power it has to transform a situation and improve your spiritual
condition.
Here is a link to 9 Timeless Secrets of Being Happy
by Brian Vaszily that inspired this blog post.
Check it out if you have time and don’t miss
the beautiful PowerPoint that presents the ideas a little differently.
http://www.intenseexperiences.com/being-happy.html
Here are a couple quotes to end the blog:
Pick
the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come...
The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present - and I don't want to
spoil any of it by fretting about the future.
– Audrey Hepburn
When
one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the
closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
-Helen Keller
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