Happy New Year!

As we approach the New Year, I am taking time to reflect on the past year and look forward to 2015. I know that this time of year, many of us make New Year’s resolutions. This can be a positive exercise to focus on areas of our life we would like to improve and make a new start. Many of us have tried this in the past and have not been successful. It is easy to quickly give up on these resolutions when they don’t come easy and we haven’t made an action plan.

I have made resolutions, sometimes more successfully than others, and I actually do this with my 4^th graders. We have developed an action plan that helps us. First we take time to reflect on 6 areas we may want to change:

1. Spiritual
2. Family
3. Professional (for 4^th graders-Education)
4. Physical and Health
5. Fun
6. Financial (4^th graders set goals in 3 areas for money: 1. To save, 2. To give, 3. To spend)

We choose one or two areas to work on. Then, we write actions to take to make these resolutions come true. Next, we pick a partner, a friend or family member, that we can check in with daily at the beginning and then weekly and monthly to see how we are doing and stay accountable. We put the resolutions as goals on a piece of paper and put it somewhere we see it often, like on our refrigerator, in our lockers or on our desks. Finally, we check in every month to see how we are doing on reaching these goals. Looking long term, we even write a letter to ourselves to be opened at the end of the school year, restating the goals and giving encouragement to keep trying if we haven’t achieved these goals yet.

There are many reasons for giving up on these goals, like we may feel we don’t have the time and energy. But, remember that they can be very small goals, like a spiritual goal could be to do a verbal gratitude list at one red light we stop at each day. If we make a reminder to put in our car, or make someone we drive with our partner in the goal, it makes it easier to do. Some of my students and friends have done this and say that it can really help add something positive to a stressful commute. It is interesting, for 4^th graders, most goals are things like: making new friends, getting better grades, or being kinder to siblings. Those are great goals.

Once, someone asked why we have to make these resolutions formal, why not just try to be more loving or get in better shape physically? I like both ideas. But, I know that for me, that doesn't seem to work as well. It is easy to lose those goals in our busy lives if we don’t write them down, make a simple action plan, or check our progress.

Resolutions do not need to be too big or overwhelming and I would recommend choosing one or two to start with. One year, my goal was to wake up 10 minutes early to spend doing yoga, praying and meditating. This one was easy to keep because I found that it helped me get through the day with a smile. I expanded on that and now wake up 30 minutes early and actually look forward to starting the day that way.

Another year, the goal was even smaller, but just as important. When I got in my car, before I turned the ignition, I would take a few deep breaths and just try to get into the present moment.This really helped, but I kept forgetting to do it in my busy day. So, here I readjusted my action plan and put a reminder in my car on my speedometer. That helped and I enjoyed a new peace interjected into my busy and hectic days.

Sometimes, our goals surpass what we envision. Since I was eighteen years old, I have played guitar. But, I was self-taught and I wanted to learn to play better. So, ten years ago, I made a goal to learn to play guitar better and take formal lessons. My action plan was to visit some local music stores and find a guitar teacher, then spend 30 minutes a day practicing, I did that and now I actually teach guitar and started a after-school music program at my school. Even more astonishing, this past few year, with my dear friend Erik, we performed as a guitar duo twice around Atlanta and had a blast. We have a new gig coming up in February and as we jammed to get ready for it, we both realized how we have grown as musicians and friends, far surpassing my initial goal.

Other times, our goals and resolutions are not met or come more slowly. Here, we should not beat ourselves up, but refocus, adjust the goals and keep trying. If it isn't that important any more, let it go and move on to other things. Celebrate the little victories and look for progress, not perfection. You can do this. Have a fantastic year in 2015!

Spirituality of Storytelling-Part 3

First of all, Happy Holidays to everyone. This time of year can be crazy, but try to enjoy this time of year and find something to be grateful for.

As the end of the year quickly approaches, I have been reflecting on this year and it has been a fantastic year with so much growth. One of the biggest parts of growth this year has been writing this blog. I started in May and I have really enjoyed posting and getting comments. Many conversations have started here that I have learned from and still enjoy immensely. I thought this would be a lot of work, but it has been a pleasure. Thank you for all support and encouragement.

One interesting thing for me was to look at all the things I have posted this year and see how often posts are viewed. The one post that was visited much more than the others was my post on Storytelling is Spiritual #1, where I wrote about my favorite story to tell the students,“The House Builder.” If you haven’t read that, go back and check it out, it is short yet powerful.

As I reflected on that story, I thought about the second favorite story to tell the students, along the same lines of the “The House Builder” called “The Cocoon.” These stories hold special power and I save them for Friday afternoons in our classroom. The students are always riveted. When teaching, I look up and often find about half the class looking at me, but when I tell these stories, every student is looking at me intently. There is power in these stories on so many levels. So, here is the story:

“The Cocoon”

"As a woman was walking down the street, she noticed a little white circular object on the sidewalk. She stopped to inspect it and found it was a cocoon. Holding it gently, she could see the little butterfly vigorously trying to get out. This excited her and she suddenly realized that she could help this butterfly gain its freedom. So, she pulled out some nail clippers she had in her purse. Carefully and meticulous, she made a very precise incision around the outside of the chrysalis. Then, she gently laid it down and stood back, ready to see the butterfly get out of the cocoon and happily fly away. Sure enough, the next time the butterfly moved its wings, the cocoon opened and the woman saw a spectacular yellow tiger swallowtail butterfly. She couldn’t help but smile as she gazed at this creature she had just helped gain its freedom.

However, when it tried to fly away, it couldn’t get off the ground. A couple times, it flipped on its back and the woman tried to flip it back over, hoping it would get air born soon. But, after about 10 minutes, it stopped moving and died. The woman was crushed. She had been trying to help, but now felt she had somehow killed the butterfly. Picking up the creature, she went home quickly and called her friend who was a biologist. Relating the story, she asked, “Did I kill it?” He replied that yes, she had killed it inadvertently by letting it out of its cocoon too soon. He went on to say that butterflies need to strengthen their wings fully in the effort to break out of the cocoon. Also, in the process of working their way out of the cocoon, they are getting the needed blood supply to their wings to enable them to fly and survive. This made her feel a little better as she understood her part in the process."

I ask the students what this story means. One student said that it means you should not mess with nature or try to speed up the natural flow of life. I like that. Others say that we grow strong from the struggles in life. I like that even more. I go on to tell the students that as a teacher, I am not helping them by letting them out of their cocoons too soon. For example, if they are struggling with a new concept in math and ask for an answer to a problem, it would be easy for me to give it to them. Instead, I need to let them struggle and help their wings get stronger. In our classroom, we even use those words, “I can’t do that because that would be like letting you out of your cocoon too early.”

Personally, I know sometimes I still want someone to come let me out of my cocoon when I am fighting to break free of some problem in life. But, I know that many times my “wings” need to get stronger. When I reflect on the struggle, I often ask, "'What should I be learning here?" Maybe the lesson is to be more patient or persistent. Sometimes, I need to remember that life doesn't always have to get easier. Often, I just need to keep growing stronger. If I focus on the lesson I am learning in life, I don’t need to have someone come and set me free, I am already free.

Humorous Christmas Quote:

“There are four ages of man:

(1) When you believe in Santa Claus.

(2) When you don't believe in Santa Claus.

(3) When you are Santa Claus.

(4) When you look like Santa Claus.”

- Unknown

Two Inspirational Poems

Here are two inspirational poems that have helped me tremendously. They encapsulate many of the spiritual tools that enable us to solve our problems.

The Good Things

    If you spend your time thinking about all the things that are wrong
with your life, you'll likely create even more of them. Why would you
want to do that?

   Instead, keep more of your thoughts focused on all the things that
are right with your life. Your attention to those good things in life
will make them stronger and more plentiful.

   What do you enjoy most about the person you are? What gives you a
true and abiding sense of satisfaction? What things do you do that cause
you to know you've made a positive difference in the world? Sincerely
answer these questions, and you cannot help but focus on what is right
with your life.

  Define yourself not by what's wrong, but by what's going right for
you.  Count your many blessings, and you'll be blessed with many more.

  Begin each day reminding yourself of all the things that are right
with your life. And at the end of the day, you'll find even more.

-- Ralph Marston

Do not let your life slip through your fingers
By living in the past nor for the future.

By living your life one day at a time,
You live all the days of your life.

Do not give up
When you still have something to give.

Nothing is really over
Until the moment you stop trying. 

It is a fragile thread
That binds us to each other

Do not be afraid to be willing to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances
That we learn to be grow spiritually.

Do not shut love out of your life
By saying it is impossible to find.

The quickest way to receive love is to give love;
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly. 

The best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Do not dismiss your dreams.

To be without dreams is to be without hope,
To be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do not run through life
So fast that you forget
Not only where you have been
But also where you are going. 

Life is not a race but a journey, a spiritual journey,
To be savored each step of the way.
-Anonymous

Turning Thanksgiving into ThanksLiving

Tomorrow is my favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. For me, it is not about eating a lot of turkey or watching football, although those are both fun. Thanksgiving is about being with family and being Thankful, being profoundly grateful for all we have and all we are. If we embrace gratitude and make it part of our daily lives, we turn it into ThanksLiving, enjoying it every day of the year.

Here is a fun activity for Thanksgiving a student just gave me. She said her family will celebrate Thanksgiving by writing down a gratitude on a piece of paper. Then, they put them in a jar and mix them up. Finally, each person picks one out and tries to guess who wrote the gratitude.

Another Thanksgiving activity I am going to take part in tomorrow is writing a gratitude letter to someone I never properly thanked and then delivering it. Calling them or mailing the letter works well, if you won’t see them face to face. I have a wonderful sister who consistently writes these kinds of letters and reminds us all how powerful a hand written letter can be.

Read this report from the Harvard Health Publication on the happiness this act will bring for up to month after Thanksgiving:

”Dr. Martin E. P. Seligman, a psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania, tested the impact of various positive psychology interventions on 411 people, each compared with a control assignment of writing about early memories. When their week's assignment was to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had never been properly thanked for his or her kindness, participants immediately exhibited a huge increase in happiness scores. This impact was greater than that from any other intervention, with benefits lasting for a month.”

Check out the entire article at:

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Mental_Health_Letter/2011/November/in-praise-of-gratitude

Last, here are 30 Gratitude Activities from www.gratefulness.org to turn Thanksgiving into ThanksLiving. My son and I just picked out an activity from this list and sent our first Thanksgiving E-card to my wife.

Daily Grateful Living Practice Ideas

Here are 30 Daily Grateful Living Practices for you to try. These practices range from actions that will take you only a moment to those that will take a larger commitment of your time. If there is one practice on this list that you would like to try every day, do so. Or try a new one each day. Or switch it up. What matters is that you do something every day to build the habit of intentionally directing your attention to notice and appreciate the gifts of your life.

---

1. Close your eyes. Take a few, very deep breaths – all the way out and all the way in. Notice how your breathing so often takes care of itself…just breath moving itself through you – keeping you alive – just keeping you alive. Commit to NOT taking this miracle for granted. 
2. Every night before you go to sleep, take an inventory of the things for which for which you are grateful. Let them percolate through your mind and calm your body. Write down at least five things that matter to you.
3. Engage in an act of kindness today. Notice if you are pulled toward kindness for a stranger more than someone close to you, or vice-versa. Either way, offer your kindness with no strings attached and no need for recognition. Truly. Notice the completeness and fullness of letting go of needing something back.
4. Bring to mind someone for whom you are grateful. Savor this image or memory. Try to allow the image to be held by all the cells of your body, not just in your mind. Notice what happens in your emotions and body when you do this.
5. At any point during the day, reflect upon one important thing that you have learned in this day. Write down what you have learned.
6. Send an e-card or card letting someone know that you are thinking of them today. Expect nothing in return. Just share appreciation and acknowledgement.
7. Sit quietly and allow a sense of peace to enter your heart. From this place, light a (virtual) candle or a candle in your space. Create a grateful intention and settle into the peace of residing in gratefulness for a few, precious moments.
8. Start your day with an intention to show up absolutely whole-heartedly to everything you do today. Notice at the end of the day if anything changed because of this intention.
9. Send an e-card or written message of peace and well-wishes to someone.
10. Make the decision to see your most challenging moments today as opportunities. What might be making itself known or available to you in hard times? How can you cultivate even small sentiments of gratefulness for the gifts that come from struggle? Reflect on this at the beginning and the end of the day. 
11. Turn all of the “waiting” moments of the day into moments of heightened awareness. Try to be fully present in these moments to what might be blessings in disguise. Notice that time “between” things is a huge gift. Enjoy the gift.
12. If you share a meal with others today, before or while you eat, ask each person to share something for which they are grateful. If eating alone, bring to mind something for which you are grateful and dedicate your meal to that “great fullness.”
13. Choose a poem that speaks to you and read it a few times in a day. Let it awaken a new experience each time you read it. Notice how no poem is the same poem twice if you read it with true presence. Share the poem with someone.
14. Notice your hands. Think of all they do for you. Can you imagine what it would be like to offer them your true appreciation at a host of moments each day? Notice how much they help to facilitate what you love in life. Take care of them.
15. Reach out to someone you know is going through a difficult time. You do not have to have the right things to say, just connect in a meaningful way. 
16. Send an e-card thanking someone for simply being in your life.
17. Watch Br. David’s video “A Good Day.” Share it with a friend.
18. Enter the meditative space of a labyrinth, or walk a short path meditatively somewhere near you. If you move as a mindfulness practice, you can go back and forth on the same path and it will always generate new horizons. Notice how amazing it is to move – no matter how you do that.
19. Before you eat, take a moment to feel grateful to all those who contributed to creating your meal. The farmer who grew the vegetables, the hens that laid the eggs, the workers who harvested the wheat and stocked the food, etc. 
20. While racing somewhere, take 30 seconds to stop, take a breath, and look at the sky, or at the environment around you. What was begging for your attention?
21. Do something truly generous for someone else today. Expand into your most full-blown expression of generosity. Give as if your life depended on it, and then try giving a little more. Stretch into your capacity. Seek nothing in return.
22. Each time you turn on the tap, pause to feel grateful that you have access to running water, unlike so many in the world today. 
23. Tell someone whom you love that you love them – and offer that comment a larger context by spelling out some of the reasons why you are grateful for them.
24. Ask someone a sincere question. There is hardly a more precious gift than true inquiry and deep listening. Where is gratefulness in this?
25. Make a financial contribution to a non-profit organization doing work that you value. Accompany that gift with a note of appreciation for how hard people are working to advance missions in which you believe. Feel interconnected. 
26. Ask “What is the opportunity for gratefulness in this moment?” Try this when things are not going as you had planned. 
27. Give someone a grateful hug. Actually give the hug – don’t take a hug. Ask first. 
28. Pick out five things that you do not need anymore, and give them away with joy.
29. Put a bag in your pocket, go for a walk, and make a corner of the world more beautiful by picking up the litter along the way. Your appreciation of the earth will be contagious to others. 
30. 775 million people in the world are illiterate. Feel your good fortune as you read this sentence, and as you read anything today.

Seven Tips for Staying Out of Survival Mode

How do people get in survival mode? Well, life is demanding. With all the responsibilities and demands on our time and energy, it is easy to feel like you do not have any energy left for anyone including yourself.

People in survival mode are just barely getting by day-to-day. We do the minimum because we do not feel like they have the energy to do more. There seems to be no joy and not much gratitude, light or laughter in our lives. As a teacher, when I am in survival mode, not only do I affect myself but my 28 students. 

We all get run down and slip into survival mode sometimes. If you are going through a major change, like having a baby, or if you are sick or have a major family crisis, you may enter survival mode. That is OK. But, it is not OK to stay there. The next question is, “How do you we get out of survival mode?” 

When we are in survival mode, we may look at our life and try to make new priorities, taking care of ourselves in new ways. Here are some tips to change:

1.  Try New Experiences/ Welcome Mistakes as Learning Experiences

Don’t let yourself get caught in a rut. Survival mode is one of the worst ruts of all. The only difference between a rut and a grave is how deep it is. Make opportunities to be spontaneous, adventurous and playful every day. My 6 year old and my 4^th grade students give me lessons in this daily. Get out of your comfort zone. Remember that the worst that can happen is that you will make a new mistake instead of repeating the same one that didn't work for you in the past.
Don’t listen to the lie that you don’t have enough time or energy. New experiences create energy and allow us more time for everything. I know myself how can be paralyzing and I fight it daily. I keep in mind what a wise boss told me, “I know you are not trying new things because you aren't making mistakes.” Fearlessly try new things and learn from those mistakes as you grow out of survival mode.

2.  Be Aware of Your Internal Dialogue

Listen to what you are saying to yourself.  Some of that internal dialogue may be keeping you stuck. You may have a tape recording going on in your head you are not even aware of, like “You will never find someone to love you” or “You are not good looking enough” or “You can’t make anything work in your life.” Maybe you have even convinced yourselves that you need to stay in survival mode for some reason. First, be aware of these negative messages, and then start to say the opposite to yourself, like “I am a beautiful child of God” or “I will keep working on myself and love will become abundant in my life,” or “I will make a difference in someone else’s life today and improve myself.” Start writing your own script for your future.

3.  Practice Gratitude 

Survival mode blocks us from seeing all the positive things in our lives. Cultivate an awareness the many gifts in your life. If you are reading this, you are fortunate to have a computer, a connection to the internet and the ability to read.  Realize that a vast majority of the population of the planet would change places with you in an instant. 

Start a gratitude list to increase your awareness of the things in your life that are going right. Let yourself be surprised by the good things that were there but just out of view. What we focus on in life contributes to how we feel about ourselves and life. Thus, focus on all that you have and watch it all grow. Take more action; write a gratitude letter to someone who has helped you. Deliver it in person and let that person know how much they mean to you and feel yourself growing out of survival mode.

4.  Exercise/Get into Nature/Try Yoga

Exercise helps generate positive neurotransmitters that can help catapult you out of survival mode. Recent studies have shown that when someone is in nature, positive neurotransmitters are released in the brain. Interestingly, in a prison in Oregon, they painted a realistic mural of a forest on the exercise yard wall and noticed that the violence among prisoners went down dramatically. Get into nature, try yoga or find something that you enjoy and find someone to do it with for support. Survival mode is a form of a prison, so bring some real nature or exercise into your life and feel the positive effects. I love to ride my mountain bike and find it always get me out of whatever rut I may have fallen into.

5.  Help Others/Give of Yourself

When you help others in big and small ways, you are helping yourself get out of survival mode. You can feel the profound joy of giving freely with no expectations. It all comes back to you in countless ways. Altruistic giving has been shown to increase positive neurotransmitters in the giver, receiver and anyone observing the act of giving. People who volunteer or care for others consistently are happier and less depressed. So, give to someone close to you and also practice those random acts of kindness. A simple suggestion is to tell someone you love how much you love them and why you treasure them in your life. Do someone a good turn today and don’t get found out. 

6.  Be in the Moment/Embrace Silence

All we have is this moment, but much of the time we waste it by ruminating over the past or stressing over the future. This keeps us in survival mode. We can cultivate mindfulness by giving attention to whatever we are doing. When you feel your mind wandering, take a deep breath and gently bring it back to the moment. If you are washing the dishes, be present washing the dishes and enjoy the warm water and the slick feel of soap. More importantly, be present to those around you by really listening. To get a better perspective on life, take time to sit quietly every day without electronic distractions. Even just a few moments of pure silence can refresh a stressed soul

7.  Forgive/ Let Go of the Past/ Be Responsible for Yourself

Harboring resentment only hurts you and keeps you stuck in survival mode. I like the saying that resentments are like stray cats: if you don’t feed them, they go away. Don’t let others rent free space in your head. Forgive and let go.  If you let go a little, you get a little relief.  If you let go a lot, you get a lot of relief, and if you let go completely, you are FREE.

Don’t blame others for things lacking in your life. Don’t give them that power. Take responsibility and take action and help yourself get out of survival mode. We are not victims, we are volunteers. I tell my students we control 3 things and they all start with the letter A: attitude, action and awareness. Let go of those things you do not control. Blaming others and harboring self-pity steals your energy and joy. Be the change you want to see in your world. 


Finally, the list may seem daunting but you don’t have to change everything at once. To get started, choose the easiest of these tips for you and see how you can get unstuck from whatever is holding you back in life. Then go to the next step until you feel back in control. One mistake is not a failure but a step to learning. You can do this. 

Spiritual Wisdom from My Students

One of the first “Aha” moments I experienced in the classroom was when I realized that I could learn as much from the students as they could learn from me.  The entire teacher/student paradigm gets flipped as I watch, listen and try to understand my students.  After 10 years of teaching, I still remind myself of this.  This awareness brings a wonder back into my classroom.  As the school year goes on and the “Groundhog Days” happen, where the days can seem the same, this idea keeps me excited about the many gifts my students bring to the classroom every day.

As I reflect on this, I realize that some of the most inspiring and memorable moments are the spiritual lessons I learn from my students.  I will briefly relate two of these stories in this post and more later.  If you have any stories to share, please put them in the comments section or email them to me if you want to share them privately.

1.       Rose was a student who was extremely bright.  When the school year started, every day she would diligently complete her work and come to me and ask for extra math work.  I would give her math drills, word problems and enrichment exercises and she would happily smile. Then, one day I looked at her and said, “Rose, it is so good to see how much you love math.”  She looked surprised and said, “On no, math is my weakest subject.  So this summer, I told myself I would work really hard on math, taking every chance I got, so I could turn it into my best subject.”  She succeeded and it did not take long.  She was soon the best math student I had. 

In life, I find that I shy away from things that I do not think that I am good at.  But Rose demonstrated that by diving in and putting some extra effort into an area where I need to grow, I will succeed.  I still need to remind myself of this when I am confronted, almost daily, with areas in life that I shy away from instead of embracing.  Yesterday, my son said, “Daddy, come draw with me.”  I said, “I am not a good artist, I am more of a musician.”  But, I have said this a thousand times and I caught myself this time.  Instead, I sat down, grabbed a crayon and completed a self-portrait, enjoying every second.

One friend talks about “leaning into the pain.”  This is not a masochistic notion, it simply means realizing that when we do not want to do something and go ahead and do it anyway, we get stronger by working through the pain and taking action.

2.      One day in class, I overheard two students talking and one said, “I only got a 96 on that test, but you got a 100.”  The other student said, “My Dad always says, ‘Compare equals despair.’ So, let’s both be happy we got A’s.”  I loved that and asked the student to share that with the class.  After he shared, another student said, “I get it, if I tell another student what grade I got on a test, either I am going to feel bad or they will.”  I thought about this concept as it applies to our adult lives. 

Here is an example: I can be in a good mood and pull up to a red light and see a new, shiny car next to me.  Sometime I catch myself thinking, “That car looks so good, I wish I had that car.  That person looks so happy in that car.  They have it so much better than me.”  This thinking can snowball and go on and so on until my mood is not so great anymore, unless I aware of it and gently remind myself that “Compare does equal despair.”

This works on many levels. When I compare my insides with your outsides, I always lose.  I also realize that I don’t necessarily want that new, shiny car, but I want the feeling I think the new car will bring me.   It will only bring that feeling temporarily.  When I make this realization, I can then let it go and maybe even do a quick gratitude list about what I am grateful I have, like having an older car that is paid off. 

I once read, “Most unhappiness comes from comparing yourself to others.”  I do agree.  This week, my students had the spelling word, priceless.  When I was asked to explain it, I said, “Peace of mind is priceless.”  When I don’t compare myself to others, I do have much more peace of mind.

Here is a quote to end this blog:

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.

If you are anxious you are living in the future. 
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

- Lao Tzu

Life’s Common Core-10 Things Every Student Should Do Before Graduating High School

Life’s Common Core-10 Things Every Student Should Do Before Graduating High School

Recently, I read article in Time magazine called, “Life’s Common Core” by Kristin Van Ogtrop.  I thoroughly enjoyed this article and found it applicable to students and to all of us.  She listed these 10 life lessons she thought every student should complete before graduating high school.  I would add that these aren't just 10 things students should do, but everyone should do.

Here is a list from the article:

1.       Write a letter, an actual letter that does not begin with “Hey” and is hand written on real paper.

2.       Learn to cook a good meal that can feed the entire family, no matter what size family you have.

3.       Hold down an unpleasant job that makes you hate your parents a little because they won’t let you quit.

4.       Go somewhere for the weekend without your phone to learn solitude.

5.       Every time you get a new toy, give an old toy or gadget away to someone who doesn’t get new things very often.

6.       Take care of someone or something other than yourself.  A pet does nicely here.

7.       Write a heartfelt thank you note to someone over 70.  Even if this person hasn’t given you anything, find something to thank them for.

8.       Read a book for pleasure.  If you start one and still hate it at page 50, find another book.  Repeat as needed until you find a book you really love.

9.       Do something nice for a neighbor without expecting any credit for it.  Rake the leaves, shovel the walk, put the newspaper on the front steps.  Keep your identity secret.

10.   Don’t race to the top.  Never race to the top.  If you want to aim for the top, good for you.  But try to get there slowly, deliberately, without knocking everyone else out of the way, or missing the beautiful view.

        

On another subject, here is a link to a short 3 minute video that has celebrities, including Jack Black, Steven Tyler from Aerosmith and even
Snoop Dog, talking about how “cool” science is and how important science is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYuOKb3gO7E

Quote to end blog from Aristotle-

“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” 

Memo from our Children/Students

When I was visiting my Mom, she gave me an old Girl Scouts Calendar from the 1980s.  I looked over it quickly, not expecting to find anything, but came across the following powerful and useful memo from our children/students:

Memo from our Children/Students

“In this adult world of ours, we sometimes grow impatient over the struggles of our children to make themselves understood.  If we don’t take the time and every opportunity to listen to what a child really has on his or her mind, we can completely miss our calling as parents and teachers.  If our children could put their needs into words, these are some of the memos they might send us. 

PLEASE:

1.      Don’t protect me from my consequences.  I need to learn the painful way sometimes.

2.      Don’t be too upset when I say, ‘I hate you.”  It isn’t you I hate, it is your power to thwart me that I hate.

3.      Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it.  I’ll take more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

4.      Don’t put me off when I ask a question or I will stop asking them and seek answers elsewhere.

5.      Don’t take too much notice of my small ailments.  Sometimes they get me the attention I need.

6.      Don’t spoil me.  I know quite well that I should not have all that I ask for.  I’m only testing you.

7.      Don’t be afraid to be firm with me.  I prefer it.  It makes me feel more secure.

8.      Don’t let me form bad habits.  I have to rely on you to detect them in their early stages.

9.      Don’t make me feel smaller than I am.  It only makes me behave stupidly “big.”

10.  Don’t nag.  If you do, I will have to protect myself by appearing deaf.

11.  Don’t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like.  This is why I am not always accurate.

12.  Don’t make rash promises.  Remember that I feel very let down when promises are broken.

13.  Don’t tax my honesty too much.  I am easily frightened into lying sometimes.

14.  Don’t be inconsistent.  That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

15.  Don’t tell me my fears are silly.  They are extremely real and you can help reassure me if you try to listen and understand.

16.  Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect because it will disappoint me when I find you are not.

17.  Don’t think it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me.  An honest apology makes me feel surprisingly warm to you.

18.  Don’t forget how quickly I am growing up, so be present for me as much as possible. 

19.  Don’t forget I love experimenting.  I wouldn't grow without it, so please encourage it.

20.  Don’t forget that I will not thrive without lots of understanding love.  But I don’t need to tell you that, do I?”

I would update #18 and add-“Please put down the cell phone and get off the internet because you are missing so much of my life.”  Recently, at a local park with my son, I saw another boy had just conquered the climbing wall and was pleading to his Dad to watch him, but his Dad would not take his eyes off his cell phone.  The Dad said, “I see you.”  But the boy looked at him with great disappointment when the Dad could not take his eyes off his phone.

      Here is something else from the calendar that I enjoyed and wanted to share:

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

by Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

With what is your child living?

I was interviewed on a Podcast

Recently, I was contacted by a podcast, The Teachers’ Lounge Show, and asked if I would give an interview about utilizing gratitude in the classroom.  I did the interview and it has been posted on iTunes under The Teachers’ Lounge Show.  I would recommend the show.  It has some great episodes that cover just about every topic in education.  You may also access it by clicking on one of the links below:

http://ec.libsyn.com/p/e/6/4/e64ea1e093affeb6/TL-Gratitude.m4a?d13a76d516d9dec20c3d276ce028ed5089ab1ce3dae902ea1d06c98730d0cd5f84c3&c_id=7619521

http://teachersloungeshow.blogspot.com/2014/09/how-to-change-your-classroom-and.html

It was fun to go through the interview process and contemplate some of the ideas I have been writing about.  Thanks again for all the support.

Here is a fun quote to end the blog:

Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional, growing spiritually is up to me.-Anonymous